Inferior Technology Comic Strips - Page 80

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806 Results for Inferior Technology

View 791 - 800 results for inferior technology comic strips. Discover the best "Inferior Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Million Dollar Bonuses

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Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, deadline, project, million-dollar, recommendation, lying, clock, weeks, spirit, bonus, mad, finished, no, laptop, coffee

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boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

Workplace Injuries

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Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, meeting, video call, workplace, injury, reduce, work from home, security, guard, hurt, back, steal, office equipment

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boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.

Instead Of Handshakes

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Instead Of Handshakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, handshake, substitute, read, vote, suggestions, obscene

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boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes

Project On Hold

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Project On Hold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, hold, opposite, Opinion, change, football, analogy, goalpost, fact, laptop, video call

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dilbert on video call. dilbert: and that's why we should put the project on hold for now. voice from laptop: hahahaha! that's exactly the opposite of what you said last week. dilbert: i sometimes change my opinions when the facts change. how do you play it? voice from laptop: now you're moving the goalposts.

Charles Barkley App

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Charles Barkley App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, work, remote, work from home, app, racism, filter, video call, charles barkley, like, laptop

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dilbert: now that we all work remotely, i built an app to eliminate racism. it's a filter that turns every face on a video call into charles barkley. dogbert: i like him. dilbert: see?

Ceo Missing

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Ceo Missing  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, covid-19, managers & supervisors, technology, video call, ceo, pandemic, virus, lonely, zoom

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dilbert on video call. dilbert: has anyone herd from our ceo since the pandemic started? voices from the laptop: maybe the virus got him. no. not me. next frame has ceo thinking in another location: well, it looks like another lonely day of looking for the zoom button.

Work From Home Or Office

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Work From Home Or Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, office, work from home, home, quit, shoot, dead, mistake, happiness

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boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.

Anonymous Sources

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Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company, anonymous, credibility, trust, lie, thief, sources

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boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

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Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, Politics, stock market, technology, company, controversial, predict, impact, drop, earnings, stock, sell, involvement

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ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

C Level Sacrifice

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C Level Sacrifice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, stock market, technology, brand, board, fire, Politics, ruin, human, sacrifice, chief technology officer, performance, employment

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catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.