Office Politics Comic Strips - Page 80
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1000 Results for Office Politics
View 791 - 800 results for office politics comic strips. Discover the best "Office Politics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 11,
2019
Twitch Gets You More Work
Tags business, communication, office, office workers, project
Transcript
the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset
Sunday May 26,
2019
Tags business, employees, office, office workers, pay raise, employee of the year
Transcript
the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.
Sunday June 02,
2019
Tags business, office, office workers, strategy, variables, forecast
Transcript
dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!
Monday May 13,
2019
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting
Tags business, meeting, office, office workers, elbonian, cyber threat
Transcript
the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...
Tuesday May 14,
2019
Various Anonymous Sources
Tags business, elbonian, office, office workers, spying, yelling
Transcript
ted: i have heard from various anonymous sources that you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: that's ridiculous. who told you that? ted: i can't say dilbert: well, my anonymous sources say you are nuts. ted yelling: you can't believe anonymous sources!
Wednesday May 15,
2019
Bad Denials
Tags business, office, office workers, spying, elbonia
Transcript
ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.
Thursday May 16,
2019
Blinking Tell
Tags business, office, office workers, spying, elbonian
Transcript
the boss: i didn't believe you were a spy for the elbonian government until you denied it the wrong way. the boss: you were slow to speak, and you blinked. dilbert: that isn't evidence of anything. the boss yelling: you blinked again!
Friday May 17,
2019
Seventeen Pieces Of Evidence
Tags business, office, office workers, spying, moron, elbonian
Transcript
the boss: we have seventeen pieces of evidence that you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: no, you have seventeen coincidences and a bad case of confirmation bias. dilbert: how about i prove you're a moron and see how far that gets us?
Saturday May 18,
2019
Saving Babies
Tags business, office, office workers, reputation, fire
Transcript
dilbert: I have been cleared of all allegations against me, but where do i go to get my reputation back? dogbert: i recommend running into a burning building to save a baby. dilbert: what if no buildings are on fire? dogbert: have you heard of matches?
Monday May 20,
2019
Boss Edits Dumb Parts
Tags business, office, office workers, edit
Transcript
the boss: i edited your draft to fix all of the dumb parts. it's in your email. the boss: when do you think you will publish it? dilbert: depends how long it takes me to reverse all of your edits. undo undo undo.


