Card Table Comic Strips - Page 81

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

830 Results for Card Table

View 801 - 810 results for card table comic strips. Discover the best "Card Table" comics from Dilbert.com.

Pregnant Fly

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pregnant Fly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #accident, #osha, #hazard, #work environment

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.

Ted Has Fly Brain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greeting card, #sick, #brain damage, #marketing, #advertising, #mindless, #business, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

Dilbert In Wrong Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert In Wrong Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awkward, #meeting, #embarrassed, #embarrassment, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chair, #conversation, #meeting, #robot, #sue, #table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #waiter, #restaurant, #service industry, #impatient, #patience, #complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Waiter: Here are your french fries. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! I have no salt. Waiter: I will bring the salt right away. Dilbert: No, you won't. This isn't my first time eating out! You say you will bring salt, but you will be distracted by another table. I will sit here in anger while I watch you do things that do not involve bringing me salt. As the temperature of my fries drops, my cortisol levels will increase. In five minutes I will hate your guts and this restaurant, too. I also need ketchup. Waiter: That will take a little longer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #cell phone, #technology, #attention, #anger, #frustration, #viral video

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, do you want to weigh in on this? Dilbert: Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was playing with my phone under the table. Boss: Terrific. Alice, how about you? Alice: Um... sorry. I was using my phone under the table. Boss: Was anyone in this room listening to me for the past half-hour? Forget it! I'm out of here! You're on your own! Worst meeting ever. Carol: Have you seen the viral video of you going nuts?

Everything Sounds Like A Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everything Sounds Like A Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #deception, #catch-22, #accusation, #innocence, #guilt

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Now that everyone knows you are a liar, everything you say sounds like a lie. Dilbert: You starting assumption is wrong. I didn't lie about anything. Tina: That's exactly what liars say. Dilbert: Excuse me while I bang my head on this table until I pass out.

Boss Counts Cards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Counts Cards  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gambling, #gambler, #card counting, #blackjack, #poker, #cards

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to become a professional gambler on the side. Dilbert: Sounds risky. Boss: Nah. I'm teaching myself to count cards. 50...51...51...53! Nailed it again!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #birthday, #cake, #card or goft, #collect money, #collection, #leave work early, #boss birthday

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I need to go home early today. Can you collect money for our boss's birthday gift? Carol: I wouldn't ask you don to it, but his birthday is tomorrow. Dilbert: um...okay. Carol: and could you also order a cake? You'll also need a card and a gift. Dilbert: This got a lot harder than I thought it.... Carol: Thanks! Bye! Dilbert: Tomorrow is our Boss's Birthday and I need to leave for early today, so... Alice: Nice try.