Freak Out Comic Strips - Page 81
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1000 Results for Freak Out
View 801 - 810 results for freak out comic strips. Discover the best "Freak Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 19,
2005
Tags no budeget, give raisem, business trip las vegas, four million, bathrub, flooded five floors, bartenders
Transcript
The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."
Sunday May 22,
2005
Tags personal items, can't be higher, cucblicl wall, aesthetic reasons, doll, einstein doll, try this concept, stock plunge
Transcript
"Alice, company policy says that personal items can not be higher than the cubicle wall." "Just out of curiousity, what is the logic behind that bizarre policy?" "We want to maintain a smooth line-of-sight for aesthetic reasons." "Let me see if I understand your point of view." "My Einstein doll makes the cubicle so hideous that our stock will plunge" "Now if I take it down..." "Gasp! It's so beautiful now! My soul is filled with music! My life has meaning!" "Yea! I just noticed that when I look at this doll and you at the same time, you look hideous."
Tuesday May 31,
2005
Tags hired a genius, faking british accent, ello bird, sexy sounds
Transcript
"I thought I hired a genius." "But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent." "'Ello, bird. 'Ow 'bout a spot o' tea? Whot do you say, gov'nor?" "Who's making those sexy sounds?"
Sunday June 19,
2005
Tags right away, three weeks, deadline, soar with eagles, motivational poster, over weekend cell phone, sail boat
Transcript
"This needs to be done right away." "according to the date, you've had this on your desk for three weeks." "Now I'll have to work all weekend to finish it by the deadline!" "Sometimes you have to soar with the eagles." "Gaaa!! You're reading that from the motivational poster behind me!" "If I have any questions about this. Can I call you over the weekend?" "My cell phone doesn't work when I'm on my sixty foot, luxury sailboat." "Ay-yiyi-yi-yi!!!" "Hey, If you can't take the heat, get out of the...uh...kitchen."
Thursday June 23,
2005
Tags ceo buzz, hire a big name, reputation, toughness
Transcript
Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "You need to hire a big name CEO to get some buzz." "You want someone with a reputation for toughness, whoc kinows how toget the most out of people." "Come back later. I'm still getting the most out of this one."
Sunday July 03,
2005
Tags cubicle, offcie, meeting, privacy, geographically dependant, benchmark test, business
Transcript
The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."
Monday July 11,
2005
Tags trip to la, milestones, burgeoning career, airport, pass out, carrying intern
Transcript
Th eBoss: "Asok, I'm flying to Los Angeles for a meeting and I want you to join me." Asok: "Gasp" "I am honored. This feels like an important milestone in my burgeoning career!" Flight attendant: "We'll begin by pre-boarding anyone who..." The boss: "Coming through!" "Flyco!"
Friday July 15,
2005
Tags hotel check out, movies rented, porn, burn furniture
Transcript
I hope you enjoyed your stay. I'll just check to see what movies you rented. GAA!!! GAAA!!!! GAA!!!! GAAA!!! GAAA!!!! and i recommend that we burn the furniture.
Sunday July 17,
2005
Tags wrong budget, no probelms, unrealitic, failure, deceptive forecstas, believe the lie, deception, optimism, few hours, perfect budget
Transcript
"This budget would only work if the project encountered no problems whatsoever." "So?" "All projects have unexpected problems. Therefore, this budget is almost certainly wrong." "Leaders do not plan for failure." "Do leaders make deceptive forecasts and later act shocked when things don't work out?" "No." "A leader first makes himself believe the lie, thus turning deception into an inspiring form of optimism. Observe." "GAAA!!! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!" "The swelling will go down in a few hours. Then we'll have a perfect budget." "What?"
Monday July 25,
2005
Tags 20 % staff, failing perfromance, required, muscles, money hurlage, metting, denounce employees, criticize
Transcript
"The company requires me to give failing performance reviews to 20% of my staff." "There are four of you, so that works out to...80% of a person." "Wally, your calf muscles and ankles are performing well, but the rest of you is monkey hurlage."

