Insist On The Job Comic Strips - Page 81

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

891 Results for Insist On The Job

View 801 - 810 results for insist on the job comic strips. Discover the best "Insist On The Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engagement, #review, #shortcut, #honesty, #human resources, #hr, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Talking About The Last Job

Thank you for voting.
Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #personality, #comparing, #employees, #dumb, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

Nothing Else To Talk About

Thank you for voting.
Nothing Else To Talk About - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Car Rental Typing

Thank you for voting.
Car Rental Typing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #logic, #efficiency, #car rental, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Car Rental. Man: I hope you don't have some sort of technology job. Dilbert: Why? Man: Because the user experience you are about to endure might make your head explode. Narrator: Twenty minutes later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why do you need to type so much?!!! Man: We got an engineer!

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Ted Gets A New Phone

Thank you for voting.
Ted Gets A New Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #punishment, #reward, #gift, #samsung, #explosion, #battery

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.

Cartoonist As Spokesperson

Thank you for voting.
Cartoonist As Spokesperson - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #spokesperson, #embarrassment, #celebrity, #promoter, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

Asok Has Worst Job In The World

Thank you for voting.
Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Spreading Ted's Ashes

Thank you for voting.
Spreading Ted's Ashes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #ashes, #cremation, #death, #spreading, #toilet, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Ted's widow asked us to spread his ashes around the office because he loved his job. Wally: I'll do it. Alice: You didn't like Ted. Wally: Was that a requirement? Alice: Don't let anyone see you flush it.