Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 81
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Character
1000 Results for Sit At Computer
View 801 - 810 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 26,
1998
Tags no real purpose, rais eissues, form action plans, urge to stomp, not very professional
Transcript
Alice, Ted and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for comimg to the meeting that has no real purpose." Ted says, "Maybe we could raise issues and then form action plans." Alice says, "I have an urge to stomp you to death." Ted says, "That's not very professional of you."
Tuesday November 10,
1998
Tags project plan, justify resources, change software, software changes, plan
Transcript
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss has a piece of paper in front of him and Dilbert has his laptop. The Boss says, "I'll need a project plan to justify the resources we need to change our software." Dilbert says, "I can make those software shnages in ten seconds." Dilbert types on the laptop. He says, "Done." The Boss says, "Good work. Now all we need is that plan."
Friday November 13,
1998
Tags non employee certification, messenger, secretary, receptionist, carol, Dilbert, process raise
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. Carol hands him a piece of paper. Carol says, "You need to sign the non-employee certification form before I process your raise." Dilbert looks at the form. Dilbert says, "But this would be a lie. I'm not a non-employee." Carol says, "I'm only the messenger." Dilbert says, "Where did this come from?" Carol says, "The file cabinet."
Wednesday November 25,
1998
Tags teach morons, high level jobs, addicted to wagging, ear clokwise, tongue in
Transcript
Dogbert stands on Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I'm going to teach morons how o get high-level jobs." Dilbert says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "I'm addicted to wagging." Dogbert's tail wags. Dilbert says, "Carry on." Dogbert stands in front of three messy men with vacant eyes. They all have their tongues out. Dogbert says, "Now turn your ear clockwise to get your tongue back in."
Saturday November 28,
1998
Tags chief financial offcier, one sentence descriptions, projects, critical budget deciosns, semi colons
Transcript
Caption: "Chief Financial Officer" The moron sits between Dilbert and the Boss. The moron says, "I need one-sentence descriptions of each of your projects." Dilbert says, "You're planning to make critical budget decisions based on THAT? " The Moron says, "Yes." Wally stands behind Dilbert who sits at his computer. Wally says, "Wow. Five pages without using a period." Dilbert says, "Thank God for semi-colons."
Sunday November 29,
1998
Tags mandatory class, windows, training, teacher doesn't know, no computers, uses box, teeth as keyboard
Transcript
Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."
Monday November 30,
1998
Tags alice, recipient, of stone of quality, motivational rock, says thanks, costs engraved, knocks out boss, police arrive, find rock
Transcript
Alice sits at the computer. The Boss hands her a rock. The boss says, "Alice, you're the first recipient of the motivational "stone of quality"." The boss says, "It cost a thousand dollars to have it engraved. It's my way of saying "thanks"." The boss lies on the floor with a large bump on his head. Two cops lean over him. Alice peers around the corner. One of the cops, "There's no weapon, but I found this cool motivational rock."
Thursday December 03,
1998
Tags sabotaged, global conspiracy, plant misspelled work, spell checker, webster
Transcript
Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina says, "What the...? I've been sabotaged!" Tina stands with her arms crossed behind Wally. Wally says, "No, I'm not part of a global conspiracy to plant a misspelled word in your "spell checker". Tina holds an open dictionary. Tina says, "GASP! They got to Webster too!!"
Friday December 04,
1998
Tags face time, promotion paper work, send photos, vp
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert sit outside. Dogbert says, "If you want to get promoted, you need lots of "face time" with your V.P." Dogbert says, "I recommend sending photos of yourself every week." A male boss sits at his desk holding photographs. The boss says, "More photos... he must be a relative." The secretary says, "I'll start the promotion paperwork."
Saturday December 05,
1998
Tags report shows raise, raises cancelled, pretend to work, Dilbert
Transcript
Carol hands Dilbert a piece of paper. Carol says, "This report shows how much your raise would be if raises hadn't been canceled." Dilbert says, "Wow! My imaginary life is soing great!" Dilber looks at his computer. Dilbert thinks, "Now back to pretending to work."


