Business People Comic Strips - Page 81

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View 801 - 810 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Path To Success

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No Path To Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags collusion, russia, donald trump, blame, accusation, public opinion

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Alice: I hear you're a corporate spy for our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, that was an unfounded rumor. Alice: That's exactly what guilty people say. Dilbert: I'm not seeing my path to success here.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

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Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags collusion, trump, russia, rumor, conjecture

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CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.

Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos

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Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accusation, hearsay, conjecture, gullible

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Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.

Scavenging For Parts

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Scavenging For Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friendship, strategy, parts, scavenging, money, usury, budget, relationships

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Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.

Modular Workstations

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Modular Workstations  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle, office, language, semantics, workspace

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Boss: From now on, you must refer to your cubicle as a "modular workstation." The word "cubicle" is demeaning to the people who work in them. Dilbert: I feel so much better now. Boss: Good. I was hoping it would work quickly.

Wally Has A Doctor's Note

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Wally Has A Doctor's Note  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sleep, boredom, meeting, laziness, narcolepsy, health, business

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Wally: Here's a doctor's note saying I have a chronic case of meeting narcolepsy. Boss: Sit down. We need to talk about this. Wally: ZZZZZZ.

Cyborg Rumors

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Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business

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Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone

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Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, property, possession, technology

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Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, cognition, distraction, Entertainment, mindless, cell phone, internet, social media

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Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?

Priorities

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Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags priorities, culture, company, money, greed, business

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Alice: There seems to be some confusion about what our company culture is. Boss: Our priorities are honesty, integrity, and return on investment. Alice: Which priority is the highest? Boss: Integrity won't buy me a new boat.