Don't Know Bugs Comic Strips - Page 81

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Don't Know Bugs

View 801 - 810 results for don't know bugs comic strips. Discover the best "Don't Know Bugs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #monkeys, #company phone, #chimps, #time travled, #own phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know why I need to carry a company-issued phone plus my own phone? Boss: No. Dilbert: I think it's because our company policy was written by chimps who time-traveled from the fifties. Or do you have a better explanation. Boss: I really don't.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burglars & robbers, #deception, #discrimination, #defective ones, #ski mask, #reading people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know who keeps raking my good cables and replacing them with defective ones? Alice: Certainly not me. But I did see an Elbonian wearing a hoodie near your bench. Dilbert: I'm not good at reading people. Alice: I'm counting on that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #discussion, #clear expectations, #revising them, #faulty, #inspiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to great leadership is setting clear expectations and periodically revising them as conditions change. Dilbert: If you plan to revise expectations, that tells me you know them to be faulty now. Boss: Maybe. Wally: Stop inspiring me so much.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #ignorance (knowledge), #futurists, #know how, #create entire universe, #brown bag lunches, #slurp

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Futurists say that someday humans will have the know-how to create an entire universe. Boss: Where would they put it? Alice: We should do these brown bag lunches less often.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #vacations, #work ethic, #unlimited vacation policy, #200 days off, #double productivity, #no way to measure

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #Family, #obliviousness, #career, #focus, #married with kids, #huge hassle, #already chosen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Executive Coach Dogbert: You need to focus on your career or your family. You can't do both. CEO: I don't have a family. Dogbert: Actually, you're married and you have four kids. CEO: That sounds like a huge hassle. Dogbert: Perhaps you've already chosen.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 thousand hours, #genetic makeup, #laziness, #million hours, #become an expert

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #inventions, #google search engine, #existing prodcuts, #crushing dreams, #new invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #introvert, #drained, #human vibe, #bird, #furniture, #robots, #animals, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You claim to be an introvert and yet you never seem to be drained when you talk to me. Dilbert: That's because you don't put off a human vibe. I experience you in the same way I experience birds, furniture, and robots. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: Don't talk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distress, #introvert, #draining energy, #sick, #work, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Are you okay? You don't look well. Dilbert: I'm an introvert. Being near you is draining the energy from my body. Coworker: I'm not sure how to take that. Dilbert: I can't feel my legs!