First Cigarette Ever Comic Strips - Page 81
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Share May 12, 1990's comic on:
The panel says, "Dilbert presents: Bad Habits From a Parallel Universe!" A maitre d' says to Dilbert and Dogbert, "Table for Phleem?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. In the 'no slapping yourself with a sea bass' section." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table listening to slapping noises. Dogbert says, "Great, one table away . . ." Dilbert says, "Do you ever wonder about the first person to try that habit?"
Share April 09, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"
Share March 31, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "What I look for first in a man is honesty." Dilbert says, "Okay . . . I'd like to skip this boring conversation and go smooch." The woman says, "I didn't mean honesty about relevant things."
Share March 22, 1990's comic on:
The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."
Share March 18, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sees Dogbert holding a video camera and asks, "A home video?" Dogbert answers, "'Dogbert Versus Godzilla.' We'll use Bob the Dinosaur as Godzilla and you can be Raymond Burr!" Bob asks, "Shouldn't Godzilla get top billing?" Dogbert shouts through a megaphone, "Quiet on the set!!" Dawn tells Dilbert, "Dogbert is letting me be the 'key grip.'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! All I get was the Raymond Burr role." Dogbert says, "In this first scene, Bob, you rip the arms off the 'Ken' doll while Barbie and Skipper watch in horror." Dogbert continues, "Dilbert, you'll be eating a cheeseburger and the shock waves will cause you to smoosh it into your face." Dogbert continues, "Then I come in and waste both of you with a fire extinguisher." Dilbert asks, "Raymond Burr dies?" Dawn asks, "What, no sequel?"
Share March 10, 1990's comic on:
Vernon: Yo! Dilbert and Dogbert! Dilbert: Oh, no.... Dogbert: Yo. Vernon: Did I ever tell you about my favorite episode of, "Kojak?" Dogbert: Whoa! Vern, we gotta go before you turn our brains into tapioca! Dilbert: There's always the direct method.
Share January 19, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."
Share December 07, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Do you ever feel like doing something really strange?" Dogbert continues, "Sometimes I get the urge to break into the post office at night and lick all the stamps." Dilbert says, "Well . . . That's not TOO strange." Dogbert continues, "Then I would see how long I can stick to the wall by my tongue."
Share December 06, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert says to the garbage man, "I understand you're the world's smartest garbage man." Dogbert continues, "I'm Dogbert, the world's smartest dog; according to me, anyway." Dogbert continues, "I just wondered why you choose to be a garbage man." The garbage man says, "I think it was the glamour which first intrigued me."