Wally Comic Strips - Page 81

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low priced consultant, reasonably priced, roll around hamburger patties

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The Boss and Wally sitting at table. The Boss says I saved a lot of money by hiring a low-priced consultant." The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "These aren't the best recommendations in the world, but the price was very resasonable." Asok the Intern, Dilbert, Wally peruse the recommendations. Asok says, "I don't like this one about rolling around on unwashed hamburger patties." The Boss says, "Keep an open mind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags free flu shots, wealth stock holders, hunt down, shoot flu darts, not flu prevention shits

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Catbert is standing at the entrance to Wally's cubicle. Catbert tells him, "The company is giving free flu shots, Wally." A man holding a rifle, wearing safari gear and glasses, reminiscent of Teddy Roosevelt, stands next to Catbert. Catbert continues, "The shots will be delivered by wealthy stockholders who will hunt you down and shoot you with flu darts." Wally, with the barrel of the rifle pointed in his back, asks, "At least I won't get the flu, right?" Catbert replies, "You're probably thinking of the flu prevention shots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flu darts, stockholders, benefit of stockholders, not employees, 401k stock, not real, boss says not real

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Wally is standing in front of the Boss' desk. There are four darts in Wally's back. The Boss tells him, "No one likes being hunted down and shot with flu darts, Wally." He continues, "But remember: companies are managed for the benefit of stockholders, not employees." Wally responds, "I own stock. It's in my 401(K) account." The Boss counters, "I'm not supposed to tell you, but none of that is real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agrees with everything, boss, complimentary, meeting, not authentic, sidekick, sycophant, yes man, business

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Wally, The Boss, and Allen the Sycophant sitting at table. The Boss says, "That's my plan. What does everyone think?" Allen exclaims, "Brilliant!" The Boss and Dilbert looking at Allen as he raves, "THAT IS THE BEST PLAN EVER MADE!! WOW! OOH-WAH! YOU DA MAN!!" The Boss says, "That's the type of honest feedback we need." Allen says, "I love it when you exhale in my direction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fertility drugs, coffee, tabloids, million dollars, doctor, agent, Advice, medical

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Wally looking at a bloated Dilbert. Dilbert says, "My dog put fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert continues, "At first I was mad. Then the tabloids offered me a million dollars for my story." Wally inquires, "Have you seen a doctor?" Dilbert replies, "My agent advises against that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company strategy, wandering cubcilem, first to market

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Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss won't tell me our company's strategy." Dilbert says, "So I spend my days wandering from cubicle to cubicle, trying to deduce the strategy." Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "So far I've ruled out 'First to market.'" Wally responds, "And premiere anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, bad news, reading papaers, low unemployment rate, cubicle roof

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert on The Boss' desk. The Boss sitting behind the desk. Catbert says, "Bad news: The employees are reading a newspaper." Catbert continues, "If they see the low unemployment rate, they'll know the balance of power has swung their way." Wally, Dilbert, and Alice sitting at table with newspapers on it. Alice holding a newspaper. Wally says, I plan to use the cat as a gargoyle on my cubicle roof." Dilbert responds, "If you run a current through him you can zap bugs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demand for engineers, supply, increasing insolence, decreasing prodcutivity, hire engineer, equilibrium restored

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Dilbert and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "This week I discovered that the demand for engineers exceeds the supply." The Boss, Dilbert, and Wally sitting at table. Wally says, "I responded by increasing my insolence and decreasing my productivity." The Boss says, "I will never hire another engineer as along as I'm alive." "Equilibrium has been restored," says Wally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technical skills, marketing, valaubale, ire, balled up paper, cheerleader squad, business

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Wally, Carol, and Ted sitting at a table. Wally says, "Unlike you people in Marketing, I have highly sought technical skills." Carol looking at Wally while he says, "I'm too valuable to fire. So from now on, I'll deliver my project status on a balled-up piece of paper." Carol growls with her arms folded, "Grrr." Wally asks, "Is the cheerleader squad ready?" as he is about to flick a crumbled piece of paper into Ted's open arms (table hockey).

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags what vendor, too late, indecisive dullards

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Wally, Dilbert, and Ted sitting at table with pieces of paper in front of them on desk. Ted says, "I'd like to reopen the question of what vendor we'll use, even though it's too late to change anything." Ted sitting at table while Phil, the Ruler of Heck stands over him. Phil exclaims, "I darn you to heck! You will spend an eternity with other indecisive dullards!" Dilbert and Ted at table while Phil stands next to Ted. A frightened Ted asks Phil, "Where are you taking me??!" Phil calmly replies, "Here is fine."