Job Interview Comic Strips - Page 81
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993 Results for Job Interview
View 801 - 810 results for job interview comic strips. Discover the best "Job Interview" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 04,
2001
Tags cubicle time, isn't productive, set priorities, projects flounder, big raise, either way, cubicle
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, may I have a word with you?" The Boss continues, "You're not spending enough time in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "It looks as if our department isn't productive." Alice responds, "But.. I can't do my job from my cubicle." The Boss replies, "You have to set priorities. Looking productive is very important to this department." Alice clenches her fists in anger. Alice exclaims, "Will I get a big raise for looking busy while my projects flounder?!" The Boss replies, "You won't get a big raise either way." The Boss continues, "Here's a blank piece of paper to carry back to your cubicle." Alice clenches her fists again and cries, "GAAA!!"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday May 11,
2013
Tags clear strategy, fixing, ignorance (knowledge), laziness, leader listens, managers & supervisors, overworked, resources, underlings, underpiad, business
Transcript
Boss: A good leader listens to his underlings. Alice: Fine. I've overworked and underpaid. I hate my co-workers, I don't have the resources to do my job, and we have no clear strategy. Boss: No wonder leaders listen. It's a lot easier than fixing all of that stuff.
Saturday June 01,
2013
Tags earring, headphones, interviews, self comscious, snobbishness, startup culture, self conscious, hipster, earing
Transcript
Interview at a start-up Interviewer: We only hire people who fit into our awesome start-up culture. Dilbert: No problem. I can be a self-conscious hipster if you think that's what keeps the lights on. Interviewer: I kind of do. Dilbert: What would I need besides an earring and headphones?
Wednesday June 26,
2013
Tags allegiance, work has no meaning, sound disloyal
Transcript
Dilbert: My work has no meaning. I understand it's your job to fix that situation before I become disloyal. Boss: I think it's too late. You already sound disloyal. Dilbert: Really? That opens a lot of options. Boss: Let me know if there's anything else I can do.
Thursday June 27,
2013
Tags deception, joking, natural leader, gulliable
Transcript
Wally: Studies show that you can identify a natural leader by the way he says the word "gullible." Boss: Gullible! Gullible! Gullible! Gullible! Gullible! Gullible! Wally: Sometimes I love my job.
Monday July 01,
2013
Tags work ethic, acknowledge contributions, management
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd feel more loyalty to the company if management would acknowledge my contributions. Wally: If my job were as meaningless as yours, I wouldn't want management to notice me at all. Dilbert: You and I have the same job. Wally: I seem to be handling it better.
Sunday July 21,
2013
Tags dating, frustration, relations between the sexes, modern world, purpose of men, money, bad jokes, faltulence, useless men, pondering on importance, relationships
Transcript
Woman: I'm not sure what function men serve in the modern world. My job pays well, so I have all the money I need. If something in my house breaks, I either fix it or pay someone to fix it. If I want a baby, I'll call a fertility doctor. In today's world, men are little more than carriers of bad jokes and flatulence. My gardener mows my lawn. Dilbert: I get it!!! Dogbert: That is disturbing. Dilbert: Not compared to the alternatives.
Wednesday July 10,
2013
Tags deception, work ethic, rumour, wo jobs, outsource job, elbonia
Transcript
Boss: I heard a rumor that you have two jobs and you outsource both of them to Elbonia and keep the difference. Wally: That's crazy. I assure you I don not have two jobs outsourced to Elbonia. Boss: Is it more than two? Wally: That's a different conversation.
Wednesday July 17,
2013
Sunday July 28,
2013
Tags deception, laziness, training class, training expenses, vendor, permission, proactive, alleged class, truts, aggressiveness, uselessness
Transcript
Wally: I accomplished nothing this week because I was in a training class. Boss: I didn't approve any training expenses. Wally: A vendor paid for it. Boss: You didn't ask for permission. Wally: I'm proactive and empowered. Boss: And what was the name of this alleged class? Wally: Advanced scripting structure for internetwork optimization of SQL databases. Boss: That doesn't sound real. Wally: I can't do my job if you don't trust me! Do you like how I combined aggressiveness with my baseline level of uselessness? I have a good feeling about this. Dilbert: You might need more aggressiveness.

