Time Travel Comic Strips - Page 81

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irony, managers & supervisors, interface, finished, started, micromanagement, bad reputation, optimistic, business

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Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, coffee, good managing, horing, ignorance (knowledge), insulting, managers & supervisors, smart people, confontation, business

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Boss: Today I learned that the secret of good managing is hiring people who are smarter than I am. Maybe I'll try that next time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, office workers, meaningful work, gone for a week, labor camp

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Dilbert: I got kicked out of a North Elbonian labor camp for working too hard. It was the first time I had ever experienced meaningful work and I got carried away. Boss: And your name is...? Dilbert: Seriously? I was gone for one week!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags schedule, boos, secretary, desk, inquiry, glare, time alotted

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The Boss; whats on my schedule? Carol: For the next five minutes you're scheduled to glare at me like an idiot. Carol: Four minutes to go.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, stock market, hedge fund compnay, investment fund, misleading claims, 3 week period, money

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Dogbert: The best way to evaluate an investment fund is to look at its misleading claims of past performance. The Dogbert Hedge Fund beat the market average for a three-week period... that one time. Boss: Can you do that again? Dogbert: It depends on what you mean by "that." ----

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags traffic, work, co worker, shopping, week, attractive nuisance

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secretary: Wally, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Wally: I didn't have time. I spent all week shopping on the company's online supply ordering site. Hey, you can't blame the guy who just uses the attractive nuisance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, real world, uninformed criticisms, meeting, boss, business

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The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags late, twice late, forgot watch, emailed, flip it

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Tina: You're late, as always. Dilbert: You mean twice. If you include the time you forgot to set your watch back an hour. And this time when you e-mailed the wrong start time? Tina: Oh, look how you try and flip it around!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, stories of woe, no tv or internet, carving canoe, woman runs out

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My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags out of touch, feeling, the boss, secratry, favor, takes personal day, intern

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The Boss: Where are those copies I asked you to make? Asok: I delegated that task to Carol. Carol: This seems like a good time to take a personal half-day. ask: I have a good feeling about this."