Very Bad Ergo Nomics Comic Strips - Page 81

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View 801 - 810 results for very bad ergo nomics comic strips. Discover the best "Very Bad Ergo Nomics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating

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Dilbert Is Bad At Negotiating  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiating, #haggle, #trick, #deception

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Dilbert: I want you to lower your price, but I don't know how to negotiate. Man: It's easy. All you need to do is offer to pay more than the list price and wait for me to counteroffer. Dilbert: Okay... I'll pay twenty percent over the list price. Man: You win! Sign here.

Wally Is A Maverick

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Wally Is A Maverick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #standing desks, #standing, #sitting, #laziness

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Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?

Fake Email From The Ceo

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Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy

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Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sociopath, #obliviousness, #tell-all

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Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health

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Worried About Dilbert's Mental Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asoks health, #boss worried, #brilliant ideas, #misunderstand, #too dumb, #dilbert's mental health, #called into question

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The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.

Bad Analogies

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Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #criticism, #critique, #simile, #language

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Man: Your idea is awful. Dilbert: Can you explain your reasons without using an absurd analogy? Man: It's like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich. Dilbert: I'll take that as a no.

Boss The Bottleneck

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Boss The Bottleneck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nickname, #name-calling

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Boss: I wish I had a cool nickname at work. Dilbert: You do. You're known as the "Frickin' Bottleneck." Boss: Who calls me that? Dilbert; Bad people. I try to stop them.

Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality

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Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #competition, #bad advice, #deception, #wedgie

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Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.

Brains In A River

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Brains In A River - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenics, #ethics, #laziness, #yelp, #online review, #comments, #feedback, #customers

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Dogbert: Being the owner of a cryogenic investment firm is a lot of work. So instead of keeping my customers' brains frozen, I decided to toss them in the river and hope no one notices. The best kind of customers are the ones who can't write bad Yelp! reviews.

Arresting The Rich

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Arresting The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality

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Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.