Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 81

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Work Ethic

View 801 - 810 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, apathy, choosing, comments, two alternatives, recommended option, more expensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags exercise & fitness, office workers, using company gym, 60 hrs week, paying for itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, mobile (cell) phones, telephones, rings after 4pm, caller id blocked, ignore call, email, horrible issue, hate life, torture coworker

View Transcript

Transcript

Noise: Ring. Dilbert: Uh-oh. It's never good when my phone rings after 4 pm. Caller ID is blocked. Someone must know that I would ignore the call if I knew who it was. If it weren't urgent, it would be email. This must be some sort of horrible issue that will cause me to work all night. It stopped. There's still a chance that I'll be okay unless my cell phone... Noise: Bzzzz. Dilbert: GAAAA!! I hate my life! Alice: You're right. That was funny. Wally: Now I'll text him.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, gadgets, intergenerational relations, grandpa box, phones, tablets, laptop, text the 90s

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Are you getting a lot done on the grandpa box? Dilbert: The what? Asok: The people in my generation do our work on our phones and tablets. Dilbert: I also have a laptop. Asok: I'll text the nineties and let them know.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, stock market, hedge fund, million dollars, insider trading, algorithm, winning trades, create algorithm, eat fiber, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll pay you a million dollars a year to work at my hedge fund. I'll do the insider trading and you pretend you created an algorithm that makes winning trades. Dilbert: What if I actually create the algorithm? Dogbert: Sure, and maybe you can eat fiber and make gold, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags commerce, new software vendor, form realtionship, take money, ex wife

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm your new software vendor. I'm here to form a relationship with you. That way it will be easy to take half of your money. Dilbert: Does that ever work? Man: It worked for my ex-wife.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, debates, more aggressive, blaming others, lack of success, keeping from work

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, unemployed, job performance, fire someone, cubicle, fired, wake up call, greatness, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs." Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), goals for the year, assignments, average raise, invent nuclear fusion, lack of knowledge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags choosing, meetings, creative ideas, next prodcut, ignorance on public disply, cost money, increase risk, evaluate each idea, disdain, good idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.