Me Comic Strips - Page 82

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Me

View 811 - 820 results for me comic strips. Discover the best "Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chef, #Dogbert, #park bench, #two, #years, #brother, #jail, #dishonest, #judge, #cook, #Family, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a chef. The chef says, "I haven't been able to get a job in two years." The chef continues, "It's because everybody knows my brother is in jail. People think I must be dishonest too." The chef concludes, "You should not judge a cook by its brother." Dogbert replies, "He probably says the same about you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #television, #supreme, #ruler, #earth, #idiots, #drive, #happiness, #expectations, #chips, #king

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #evil, #good, #Dogs, #animal behavior, #cats, #stupid, #people, #logic, #predicts, #theory, #existential crisis

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I know dogs are basically good." Dogbert continues, "And dogs are better than people." Dogbert continues, "But people are better than cats." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert continues, "And cats are evil . . ." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, all people are stupid." Dilbert says, "I don't follow that logic." Dogbert says, "Yes, my theory predicts you would say that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #dog, #aerobics, #exercise, #pillow, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dog aerobics." Dogbert sits on his pillow. Dogbert lies down and sleeps on the pillow. Dogbert sits up and says, ". . . And a one . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #access, #news, #personal, #computer, #wrong, #paper, #article, #newspaper, #picture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally, "I just read that in a few years you will be able to access all of the news and information of the world from your personal computer." Dilbert continues, "You probably saw the same article in today's paper." Wally replies, "I don't read a paper." Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "What's wrong with this picture?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #fred, #driving, #school, #quick, #crash course, #educational, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

A man stands behind a counter. The sign behind the clerk says, "Fred's Driving School: learn to drive in just five minutes." Dogbert approaches the counter and asks, "How can you teach driving in just five minutes?" The man replies, "It's a crash course."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #giant, #moth, #fought, #modest, #bee, #jumpsuit, #wearing, #hypothetical, #situations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Who would win if a giant moth fought a giant but modest bee in an all-wool jumpsuit?" Dilbert says, "Wait . . . Who's wearing the jumpsuit -- the giant moth or the giant bee?" Dogbert replies, "The bee." Dilbert asks, "Is this just hypothetical?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #therapy, #psychiatry, #therapist, #tools, #pocket, #secondary colors, #color theory, #pens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and a psychologist sits next to him taking notes on a pad of paper. Dilbert says, "I can't stop putting writing tools in my shirt pocket . . ." Dilbert continues, "It started harmlessly . . . First a pen, then two. Now I'm afraid to go anywhere without a pen and pencil of every color." The psychiatrist asks, "Do you have the secondary colors?" Dilbert replies, "There are SECONDARY colors?!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #flaps, #silhouette, #naked, #woman, #sexist, #neaderthal, #embarassed, #gender, #first, #thoughts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert shows Dogbert a mud flap and says, "I bought some mud flaps with the silhouette of a naked woman." Dilbert continues, "With these on my car, women will think I'm a sexist Neanderthal, and men will be embarrassed to share my gender." Dilbert continues, "But now I'm having second thoughts." Dogbert says, "That implies you had first thoughts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #twitch, #feet, #sleep, #dreaming, #chasing, #cars, #saint, #schedule, #lackey, #pushing, #whiney, #ugly, #people, #catholic, #church

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."