New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 82

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New York Harbor

View 811 - 820 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mordac, preventer of information services, upgrade computer, vampire, evil smile, panic, caveman, complain, costumes

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags raise, face front, budget, better than nothing, annoyed, yell, mouth open, close eyes, shake fist, angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tired, exhausted, research, lie, avoid work, lab report, meeting, write down, science, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm exhausted from all of the basic research I'm doing." Wally says, "It's too bad that the value of my work won't be quantifiable for another ten years." The Boss says, "I'd like to see your lab report." Wally says, "So? the new rule is that we write down stuff?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, employee satisfaction, chart, point, fire, smart people, stupid, celebrate, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Employee satisfaction has doubled since last year!" The Boss says, "The credit goes to our new program of firing smart people." Alice says, "You're safe." Coworker says, "Yeff!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer help, trap, yell, freak out, hair stand up, rant, hug, kill, head in hands

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need help with my computer." Dilbert says, "It's a trap!" Dilbert says, "If I touch your computer, you'll think that every future problem is caused by something I did." Dilbert says, "You'll tell everyone I ruined your computer!" Dilbert says, "I'll be obligated to solve every computer problem you have from this day on." Dilbert says, "My own projects will be left to wither as I show you for the ninethieth time how to select a new font." Dilbert says, "If I refuse to help, you'll tell my boss I'm not a team play." Tina says, "Do you need a hug?" Dilbert says, "Only if you can squeeze hard enough to kill me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, change, communicate, clear, moron, mock, tease, fuh, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "A successful transformation requires employees to feel ownership for the change." Alice says, "Change? What change?" Dilbert says, "Is there something we don't know?" The Boss says, "It's important that everyone has clear roles and responsibilities." Alice says, "What are you trying to tell us? Should we stop working on our projects?" The Boss says, "I'll keep you engaged and energized with my clear communication." The Boss says, "And as your leader, I will role-model the desired change." Alice says, "If he's our role model, I guess we need to act like morons who can't communicate." The Boss thinks, "I need new people." FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, marketing video, comments, finished, annoyed, technology, false, wrong, angry, arms out, Funny, glare

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "And that's our new marketing video. We hope it will go viral." The Boss says, "You'll have our comments by tomorrow." Woman says, "I'm not asking for comments. The video is already finished." Dilbert says, "The technology claims in the video are criminally inaccurate." Woman says, "I sent the script to engineering for comments three months ago!" Woman says, "I got an email back from someone named Wally who said it was great." Wally says, "I thought she was asking if it was funny."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, military, weapon demo, new york harbor, light show, statue of liberty, stump, newspaper, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "We're planning to introduce our new military product with a light show in New York harbor." Coworker says, "Wally, can you handle the weapon demo and the light show?" Wally says, "Sure. What could go wrong?" One week later Dilbert says, "They're calling it 'The Stump of Liberty.'" Wally says, "No one is saying it was a boring show."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, podium, speech, fish food

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, consultant, cuba, air force, sink, yell, angry, private jet, head, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"