Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 82
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 811 - 820 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 03,
2019
It Already Works
Tags business, office, office workers, phone, nuclear
Transcript
office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.
Thursday April 04,
2019
Asok In A Coma
Tags business, coffee, office, office workers, coma, dopamine
Transcript
dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.
Saturday April 06,
2019
Teaching Ai To Flirt
Tags bank, business, office, office workers, robot
Transcript
dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m
Sunday April 07,
2019
Tags business, office, office workers, relationships, sarcasm
Transcript
tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.
Monday April 08,
2019
Offensive Product Name
Tags business, insults, office, office workers, elbonian
Transcript
dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.
Tuesday April 09,
2019
Post Mortem
Tags business, office, office workers, project, idiots
Transcript
the boss around a conference table: let's do a post-mortem on our failed project to see what we did wrong. dilbert: we allowed idiots to make decisions. the boss: you say that every time. dilbert: i haven't been wrong yet.
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags business, office, office workers, presentation, germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Thursday April 11,
2019
Keyboard Clicks
Tags business, cell phone, office, office workers
Transcript
alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.
Friday April 12,
2019
How Long Will It Take
Tags computer software, office, office workers
Transcript
the boss: how long will it take to fix the bug? dilbert: that depends. how long will you stand behind me and interrupt me? the boss: how should i know? i can't see the future?
Saturday April 13,
2019
Asok Tries To Fax
Tags business, office, office workers, fax
Transcript
the boss: asok, i need you to fax this to the supplier. asok: i'll get right on it! asok to wally: what's a fax?

