First Thing Comic Strips - Page 82

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

958 Results for First Thing

View 811 - 820 results for first thing comic strips. Discover the best "First Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #video conference, #desktop, #telecommuting, #level of professionalism, #share document, #next time

View Transcript

Transcript

"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #rat, #mouse, #politically incorrect, #named in rats honor, #scuzzy, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: "Why is that thing called a mouse and not a rat?" Ratbert: "At the risk of being labelled, quote, politically correct, unquote, I must object." "I demand to have something named in my honor! Dilbert: "What about the 'scuzzy' interface? Hee hee."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all day meetings, #cutting staff, #giving stats reports, #layers, #quality team meeting, #root cause, #slow computers, #slow design, #wild guesses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #vision thing, #boss, #visions, #donuts, #coffee, #big house, #servents, #over rated, #gardener, #everyone laid off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #baby dogbert, #ceramic figurine, #first aid, #vomiting, #focus group, #disater, #inmate cuteness, #profit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I found a way to profit from my innate cuteness. Introducing the limited edition "Baby Dogbert" ceramic figurine! Dilbert: I see - its a first aid device to induce vomiting. Dogbert: The focus group was a disaster.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1993's comic on:


Tags #bob, #Dogbert, #money, #shopping, #christmas, #man, #wedgie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Remember, Bob, it is better to give to Dogbert than to receive . . . Especially at Christmas." Bob replies, "But I don't have any income . . . Except for the coins people drop when I give them wedgies." Bob gives a man a wedgie and money falls out of his pockets. Bob thinks, "It seems like exactly the wrong season to pick up the pace on this sort of thing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #rat, #dog, #christmas

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert hands Ratbert a list and says, "Here's my list of Christmas demands, Ratbert." Dogbert says, "Since you have no money I included items which can be easily shoplifted." Ratbert says, "Thanks." Dogbert says, "Or you can check the box where it says you agree to be my personal valet for life." Ratbert replies, "I need to shoplift a pencil first."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #phil, #office, #computer, #cubicle, #stealing, #chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sneaks into a cubicle and thinks, "If the warehouse won't replace my broken chair, I'll just take one from somebody else." Dilbert reaches for a chair and thinks, "Technically, it's not stealing because the chair belongs to the company either way." Dilbert thinks, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Phil the Ruler of Heck stands behind Dilbert and says into a walkie-talkie, "Hold the elevator . . . Over."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #matt, #Dilbert, #computer, #mentoring, #productivity, #training

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Matt, "This is your computer." Dilbert moves the mouse and says, "When you hear footsteps it's a good idea to move this thing around and click it." Dilbert says as he walks away, "This concludes your technical training. If you have further questions just remember you're inconveniencing me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chair, #seminar

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "I made it through the fire-walking seminar uninjured by wearing asbestos lined socks." Dilbert continues, "People always laughed because I lined my undergarments with asbestos - but who's laughing NOW?" Dogbert asks, "Have you always feared your butt would catch on fire?" Dilbert replies, "It's not the kind of thing you leave to chance."