Desk Comic Strips - Page 82

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags animals dna, clone one, dont finish, eating burgers, elbonian unicorn, save unicorn dna

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An Elbonian is holding a tin can tied to a string to his ear. The Elbonia says, "I'm sad to report that our drilling has caused the extinction of the Elbonian unicorn." The boss, at his desk, is on the phone. The boss says, "Save a sample of the animal's DNA so we can clone a new one." The Elbonian with the tin can turns to another Elbonian, who is eating a burger. The first Elbonian says, "Don't finish that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle, sucking life force, happening faster, life suck 3000, machine, evil catbert

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Dilbert is standing in front of the boss's desk. Dilbert says, "My cubicle is sucking the life force out of me." Dilbert continues, "I mean, it always has, but it seems like it's happening faster now." The boss approaches Catbert who is at the controls of a large machine called "LifeSuck 3000". The boss says, "They noticed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags snails, offcie, slime trail, hand lotion, second sign, addicted, office

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Dilbert approaches Tina the Tech Writer. A piece of paper sticks to his hand. He says, "I think we have snails in the office." Dilbert holds the sheet of paper up and it appears to have something on it. Dilbert says, "There's a slime trail on everything." Dilbert exits and Tina stands on her desk chair to reach a giant pump labelled "Hand Lotion." Tina thinks, "That might be the second sign that I'm addicted to hand lotion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software expenses, marketing software expenses, monkeys, wear watches, boss asks, budget, costs, expenses

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The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criminal record, police, fake name, quality of assignments, legal

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Wally sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "Wally, now that you have a criminal record, I can't let you work on anything important." Wally replies, "I don't have a criminal record. I gave the police a fake name." Wally approaches Asok the Intern at his desk and says, "You might notice a change in the quality of your assignments."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss friend, hot in here, huge cutomer, sales people, secretary, childhood friend

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The Boss approaches Carol's desk and tells her, "Carol, screen all my calls and don't let any salespeople through." Carol answers the phone and a voice says, "Hello, I'm a huge customer or perhaps a childhood friend of your boss." Carol replies, "Give me some flirting and you're in." The voice says, "Is it hot in here or is it just you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags taking bribes, from vendors, feel guilty, getting paid, walk with cup, looks harder

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Carol sits behind her desk. Wally approaches with a cup of coffee and says, "Do you feel guilty about taking bribes from vendors?" Carol replies, "No. Do you feel guilty getting paid to walk around with a coffee cup?" Wally walks away thinking, "I need a bigger cup so this looks harder."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bait and switch, first and third wives, invited for drinks, men vs women, pretext, tricked, undertsand

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Alice approaches the Boss' desk and says, "A vendor invited me for drinks. It's the only time he has to talk about his product." The Boss says, "He's using the old bait-lube-and-switch trick. That's how I met my first and third wives." Alice replies, "I don't understand." The Boss says, "That's why it works."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, unattractive, ugly, woman fixes up, project, combover, stay out of wind, relationships

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Alice approaches Noriko who is sitting at her desk. Alice asks, "I'm dating an unattractive man. What should I do?" Noriko replies, "Every man is ugly until a woman fixes him up. Think of it as a project." Alice stands with a clipboard in hand as she lists her unattractive man's faults, who sits before her, obviously balding. She says, "Next, lose the combover, or at least stay out of the wind." The man asks, "How did you know about the combover?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, monday morning, travel all day, stealing life, reschedule, social plans, business

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The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."