How To Comic Strips - Page 82
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1000 Results for How To
View 811 - 820 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 15,
2004
Tags mother and son, cooking, cooking show, televsion, too much salt, mad mom, complaining, mom questions
Transcript
Dilmon: Have you made your mother proud by becoming a manager? Dilbert: No Have you made your son proud by hosting a cooking show on television? You could call the show "cooking with too much salt" Dilmon: How did you get this way?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 17,
2004
Tags sales drop, invent something, everyone wants, visionary leadership, demands of boss, unreasonable demands on staff, money making, shortfalls
Transcript
The boss: Sales are dropping like a rock. Our plan is to invent some sort of doohickey that everyone wants to buy. The visionary leadership work is done, How long will your part take.
Monday April 26,
2004
Tags bad attitude, new engineer, paid more, justify, smile
Transcript
"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"
Wednesday April 28,
2004
Tags spouses get benefits, marry each other, fluorescent light, walls head, director of hr, save money
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of HR "Married employees cost us more because spouses get benefits." "If we can get our employees to marry each other we'll save money." "Have you ever noticed how the fluorescent light glistens off of Wally's head."
Thursday May 06,
2004
Tags elbonia, call center, moved call centers, anyone will notice, disguised location
Transcript
The Boss: "We've moved our call centers to Elbonia but we don't think anyone will notice." Elbonia: "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Kruphnehdahpheweundikaniswalyniaphorganopop." "I mean...Carl."
Tuesday May 11,
2004
Tags non credible guy, invented reality tv, preposterous stories, picture hostility & curiosity, einstein, entertain realtives, new theory, liar, pathological liar, lies
Transcript
The non-credible guy "And that's how I invented 'reality tv.'" "Why don't you keep telling me preposterous stories while I stare at you with a mixture of hostility and curiosity?" "And then Einstein asked me to entertain his relatives while he thought of a name for his new theory." "Good, good."
Thursday May 13,
2004
Tags safety manual, budget for binders, deadly binders, injury, cheap binders, find, budget
Transcript
"Wally, I want you to update the safety manual and distribute it." "I don't have much of a budget for binders, so use the cheapest ones you can find." "Hello, this is 'Deadly Binders, Inc.' How may I injure you?" "Gaaa!!!"
Friday May 28,
2004
Tags budget cut, 25% budget cut, ulcers, heart disease, product, envy, mysterious pustles
Transcript
"If I cut you product development budget by 25%, what could you develop?" "Ulcers, heart disease and maybe mysterious pustules." "How about the product itself?" "It will envy me."
Monday May 31,
2004
Tags check, forgiveness, philosophy, rip out heart, seek forgiveness, ask permission, internet, technology
Transcript
Alice: Gaaa!!! How could you do this without checking with me??!! My philosophy is that its better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission. Dilbert: did he say you could rip out hi heart and sell it on the internet? Alice: Kinda.
Tuesday June 15,
2004
Tags invoice, preferred vendor system, quality product, scowl, small biuinessman
Transcript
I may be a small businessman but I can provide a quality product to your company. The Boss: I'll ask alice to show you how to get into our referred vendor system. Alice: He can already invoice! Wally: he has your scowl.

