Rich People Comic Strips - Page 82

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Rich People

View 811 - 820 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags target market, one customer, 10 thousand units, shop carefully

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags televison show, doctor dogbert, lazy, immoral, fat morons

View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no frills airline, $23 run to destinations, crazy stuff, saliva

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I plan to start my own no-frill airline." "For only $23, I'll let people hold out their arms and run to their destinations." "And they won't be allowed to eat or swallow their own saliva."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags profits improving, have raise, giving raises, profits will plummet, oppression, communism

View Transcript

Transcript

"Now that our profits are improving, can I have a raise?" "If I start giving people raises, then profits will plummet and we'll be nowhere." "Does your bonus depend on how effectively you oppress me?" "If you don't like it, try communism."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sublet space, business case, risks and drivers, changed mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags need to talk, phone rings, time stops, frozen look

View Transcript

Transcript

"Shut the door. We need to talk about what you've done." "What?!" RING "Gaaa!!! Please don't leave me hanging! What have I done??!" "Hello." "My watch stopped. No, wait, I think time itself stopped!!!" "Note: Time-frozen people look exactly like this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags great design, big seller, attractive, honor flaw, functionality, sex crimes, accuses user, cute

View Transcript

Transcript

"Product designer" "The new product is selling like crazy, thanks to it's great design." "Sales" "It's so attractive that people over look its minor flaws in functionality." "For example, it accuses the user of sex crimes whenever company comes over." "And it's cute!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no annual raises, ouift, cafeteria napkins, colonize mars, distractions, guide conversation away

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags absent mindedness, cruelty, managers & supervisors, entrpenuer, bullying, lying, manipulation, verbal abuse, huge jerk, biograophy, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags liosuction, disappeared, head one, eating donuts, being fed donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "How did the liposuction go?" The boss: "Good." "People say I look younger. And thanks to my self-discipline, I'll keep off the weight." "One more."