dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay.
elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.
catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand.
ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead.
catbert: they said yes.
ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.