Garbage Man Comic Strips - Page 83

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View 821 - 830 results for garbage man comic strips. Discover the best "Garbage Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tech support, original problem, crazy or liar, both, computer, technology

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Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert: "No one else has ever reported that problem." "That means you are either crazy or a liar." Man: "It's a little of both, but how did you know?" DOgbert: "I can see through your computer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death, reincarnation, snicker part, half man, half snack, studied guided reincarnation, shape shifting, indian institute, technology, medical

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Dilbert: "Asok died in a work-related accident. His disaster recovery plan was to reincarnate into his own clone." "You are his clone, but your DNA got mixed up with a snickers bar. You are doomed to walk the earth as half man, half snack." "Rrrrr" Asok: "Phew! It is lucky I studied guided reincarnation and advanced shape-shifting at the Indian Institute of Technology."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, useful parts, open to suggestions, unqualified, their own jobs, software, recycled paper, engineering

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Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags day at work, garbage pickup, holiday, interrupted, victory, tainted

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Dilbert: I had a great day at work. For come reason, no one interrupted me, so I got a lot done. Garbage man: Today is a holiday." Dilbert: All of my victories are tainted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dog, financial planner, troglodyte, Advice, soften up, meeting, insult, yell, scream, put down, animals, business

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Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: Investing is far too complicated for your tiny brain. You are a financial troglodytle!!!" Man: Do I get some advice now? Dogbert: No, our first meeting is just to soften you up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags approval policy, coffee supplies, disobedience, fire, hatred, new informational services, effigies

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Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 300 iq, immortality drug, impossible requirements, job interview, nobel peace prize, time machine, too old, two centuires, unix

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Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dismissive and insulting, eduction, experience needed, insulting answer, snake mittens, rejected idea

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Man: What do you think of my idea? " Dilbert: It won't work. MAN: Why not?" Dilbert; Do you want the long answer that you won't understand because you possess neither the experience nor the education needed? Or the dismissive and insulting answer that has the advantage of being quick? Dilbert: Another advantage of the insulting answer is that you can tell people I rejected your idea because I didn't think of it myself. Man: I guess I'll take the insulting answer. Dilbert: Fine. Your idea is dumber than snake mittens. What do you have against snake mittens?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags borrow pen, company like family, culture, search computer, sign docuemnt, test for dugs, trust and respect, manipulate

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CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul crushing negativity, humanity final chapter, darkness, anticipating

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Dilbert: That's my plan. Now I'd like to open the floor to your soul-crushing negativity. Jesus: You have written humanity's final chapter!" Tina: Darkness stalks us!" "I'll never know love!" Man: Anticipating it didn't help.