Sounds Bad Comic Strips - Page 83

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

912 Results for Sounds Bad

View 821 - 830 results for sounds bad comic strips. Discover the best "Sounds Bad" comics from Dilbert.com.

More Accurate Job Description

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #business, #change, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!

Being Like A Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #business, #criticism, #men and women, #relations between the sexes, #sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

My Last Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
My Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #employees, #employment, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: That's not the way we did it at my last company. Dilbert: Now I hate you and I don't want to interact with you in any way in the future. Man: Okay, that sounds just like my last company.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

Manipulation Via Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer, #lotalty, #science, #new, #manipulate, #addictions, #mockery, #free will, #evil, #extreme

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."

Wally's Dna

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Dna - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #dishes, #break room, #dna, #genealogy

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: did you leave unwashed dishes in the break room? wally: it wasn't me. carol:" i got a dna sample off a fork, ran it against public genealogy records and narrowed it down to your family. carol: how do you explain that? wally: sounds like i have a child i don't know about.

Chemtrails

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Chemtrails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #chemtrails, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: why didn't you get your report in on time? wally: do you believe chemtrails are real? the boss: of course i do. wally: the chemtrails slowed me down. the boss: okay, that sounds right.

Keyboard Clicks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Clicks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.

Wally Slurps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Slurps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #soup

View Transcript

Transcript

alice visually distressed and yelling: can you please stop slurping that soup? wally: wow. you complain when i clip my toe-nails, when i make lip-smacking sounds, when i use my speaker-phone, and even when i microwave fish. alice still yelling: doesn't that tell you some things?? wally: yes, it's impossible to please you. slurp.