Credit Reporting Company Comic Strips - Page 83

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

915 Results for Credit Reporting Company

View 821 - 830 results for credit reporting company comic strips. Discover the best "Credit Reporting Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wall The Company Taint

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wall The Company Taint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Promotion, #manager, #taint, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You're looking at the new vice president of zombie projects. The projects that will neither succeed nor be canceled are transferred to me so the other VP's avoid their taint. Alice: I guess that makes you the company's taint. Wally: I wear that label proudly.

Wally's Many Patents

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Many Patents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplishments, #deception, #work ethic, #patent, #inventions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: On your list of accomplishments, you say you filed seventeen patents for the company this month. Wally: I did. Here's the documentation on each of them. Boss: Hmm... it will be three years before I know if these are accepted. Wally: Until then, let's play it safe and assume I'm awesome.

List Of Known Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
List Of Known Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #insult, #misanthrope, #misanthropy

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board, #board member, #power, #bragging, #focus, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #stimulation, #priorities, #assignments, #deadline, #invention, #mood, #picnic, #social anxiety

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a way to regulate my mood with an external brain stimulator. Boss: You're supposed to be organizing the company picnic. Dilbert: Did you serious expect me to do that without an external brain stimulator?

Low Battery On Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Battery On Brain Stimulator  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #invention, #planning, #party, #picnic, #details, #cups

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm wearing a brain stimulator so I don't die of boredom while organizing the company picnic. Carol: Speaking of that, what kind of cups should I order? Do you want red or clear? And what sizes? How many? Is this a bad time? Device: Low battery.

Value Of A Start Up Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Value Of A Start Up Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #money, #start-up, #business, #worth, #value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a great idea for a start-up company. All I need is a seed investor and an engineer to do all the work. Alice: I believe the economic term for what you have is "nothing."

Dilbert Aligns His Goals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Aligns His Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #happiness, #balance, #job, #contentment, #goal, #opposition, #oppose, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.