Everyone Laid Off Comic Strips - Page 83

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View 821 - 830 results for everyone laid off comic strips. Discover the best "Everyone Laid Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

Package Design

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 Package Design  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #vp of sales, #technology, #sales, #selling, #design, #proposal, #package, #jump, #roof, #crazy, #sarcasm, #face mask

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dilbert: i got feedback on the proposed package design. our vp of sales says if we go with this design, he will "jump off the roof." alice: is he crazy or just good at selling? dilbert: no way to tell.

New Words

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New Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #new words, #racist, #sexist, #power, #master switch, #server, #shelve, #politically correct, #face mask

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catbert: it has come to our attention that many of the words we use at work are racist and often sexist. for example, we can no longer refer to the main power shut-off as a "master switch." dilbert: is that the one on the server rack? catbert: we call those "shelves" now.

Critics Not Intelligent

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Critics Not Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #office workers, #employees, #smart, #critics, #agreement, #face mask

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alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!

Height Advantage

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Height Advantage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #employement, #fired, #height, #hiring, #managers & supervisors, #pay cut, #short, #tall, #video conferencing, #zoom

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boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.

Working From Home

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Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #distractions, #estimate, #family issues, #ipad, #video conferencing, #yelling, #zoom, #technology

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dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate? employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you! dilbert: how do you like working at home? employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!

Climate Change And Wally

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Climate Change And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #late, #attendance, #alarm, #power, #phone, #coal power plant, #climate change

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wally to boss and dilbert: sorry i'm late. my alarm didn't go off because my town lost power and my phone battery died. and we lost power because the state closed down the lost coal power plant to reduce co2 emissions. so really, the fault lies with climate change, not me. dilbert: (slow clap)

Angry Tech Writers

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Angry Tech Writers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #exercise, #technology, #writing, #tech writer, #underpaid, #coffee, #hate

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dilbert: why is your writing so angry? tina: tech writers are underpaid, so all of our envy and contempt spill out on the page. dilbert: maybe you tech writers should drink less coffee and exercise more. tina: this is exactly why we hate everyone.

Assigning Dilbert To Project

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Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #network, #redesign, #project, #phase, #positive, #optimistic, #assign, #sarcasm

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boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

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Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

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wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Virus From Where

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Virus From Where - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #virus, #beard, #fuzzy, #hat, #country, #release, #luxembourg, #elbonian

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dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.