Send Back Comic Strips - Page 83

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836 Results for Send Back

View 821 - 830 results for send back comic strips. Discover the best "Send Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Multiple Choice

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Multiple Choice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #email, #managers & supervisors, #options, #reply, #business

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dilbert: i sent you an email with three options, and you replied "yes" boss: i don't remember it. send it to me again dilbert: oookay email: which option do you prefer? boss types: yes

Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Not Humanly Possible

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Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful

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boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Finding Qualified Engineers

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Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #questions, #job market, #engineers, #baker, #mortuary, #assistant

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interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Email Versus Meeting

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Email Versus Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #email, #hugs, #e-card, #co-workers

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dilbert: is there anything you plan to do in this meeting that we couldn't have done more easily by email. alice, boss & dilbert sitting at table saying nothing. boss: hugs? dilbert: send me an e-card.

What Is The Bra

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 What Is The Bra - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #risk, #assessment, #mock, #teamwork, #acronym

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office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.

Purchasing Department

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Purchasing Department - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #purchasing, #vendor, #market, #quote, #coffee

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Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.

Judging By Looks

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Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

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boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Alice's Brain Is Full

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Alice's Brain Is Full - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #brain, #full, #memory, #work

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boss: why aren't you working? alice: my brain is full. boss: i'll check back later. alice: i won't remember you.

Dilbert Hates Safety

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Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #safety, #anger, #yelling, #statistics, #flaw, #authority, #health

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dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.