New Product Comic Strips - Page 84
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1000 Results for New Product
View 831 - 840 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 06,
2006
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday December 10,
2006
Transcript
"This is Dogbert's tech support. How may I abuse you?" "I get an error message every time I open an application." "Try giving me all of your personal information and then checking into rehab." "Then I'll have someone steal your identity and move in with your wife." "There's a good chance that the new guy will know how to fix your computer." "When you get out of rehab, talk your wife into taking you back." "Then never touch your computer again because it hurts the ones you love." "How's work?" "Everyone wants to talk to my supervisor."
Wednesday December 13,
2006
Monday January 01,
2007
Tags beef, cake, diet, drink kool aid, eat it too, just derts, meat and potatoes, pie hole, vendores, play on words, food metphors, health
Transcript
The boss: Our meat and potatoes is knowing how to sandwich in our product without causing the other vendors to beef. "We'll get our just desserts when they drink the Kool-Aid. Then we can have our cake and eat it too." Alice: "Are you on a diet?" " The boss: Shut your pie hole."
Tuesday January 09,
2007
Tags heals itself, sales engineer, sales rep, totally true, truth vs.lies, questions
Transcript
Sales Engineer "Your sales rep told us that the product heals itself. Is that true?" Dilbert: It's totally true...that he said that. sales engineer: Let me ask this another way... Dilbert: NOOO!!! One way per question!"
Friday January 12,
2007
Tags engineer, magic vendors fault, network, shoebox, twigs and leaves, engineering
Transcript
Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.
Saturday January 13,
2007
Tags product with netork, run cable through shoebox, twigs and leaves, cat 5, cat 6
Transcript
Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."
Wednesday January 24,
2007
Tags alien, bring technology, handle oa agavel, new guy, order in the court, simpletons, snout, working out, health
Transcript
I came to this company to bring the technology of my advanced culture to you simpletons. "Has anyone ever told you that your snout is like the handle of a gavel?" "A what?" "How's the new guy working out?" "ORDER IN THE COURT!" BAM BAM BAM
Tuesday January 30,
2007
Tags analyzed dna, most qualified applicant, willing to work, has three ears, snout, life expectancy of thursday, new guy
Transcript
Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough
Wednesday January 31,
2007
Tags new philosophy, a bias for action, six sigma program, iso certification
Transcript
The Boss: Our new philosophy is 'a bias for action'. Dilbert: Are we eliminating our Six-Sigma program, the budget cycle, ISO certification, and our approval processes? The Boss: Can I get back to you on that? Dilbert: Sure. No rush.


