Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 84
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Character
991 Results for Nose Job
View 831 - 840 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 05,
2016
Wally Waits For People
Tags responsibility, laziness, work ethic, excuses
Transcript
Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.
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Thursday July 07,
2016
Pregnant Fly
Tags safety, accident, osha, hazard, work environment
Transcript
Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.
Friday July 08,
2016
Ted Has No Family
Tags human resources, judgement, deciding, business
Transcript
Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.
Saturday July 09,
2016
Ted Has Fly Brain
Tags greeting card, sick, brain damage, marketing, advertising, mindless, business, medical
Transcript
Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.
Tuesday July 19,
2016
Boss Wears Virtual Reality Goggles
Tags vr, virtual reality, deception, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I convinced our boss to wear virtual reality goggles all day. Boss: Good job, Wally! I've never seen you work so many hours! Wally: reality is nice, but I find it limiting.
Sunday August 07,
2016
Tags work, job, happiness, fulfillment, meaning, pleasure, struggle, engagement, business, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.
Monday September 05,
2016
Electric Car Business
Tags electric car, scam
Transcript
Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?
Thursday September 15,
2016
Tina's Soul Will Live On
Tags reincarnation, afterlife, faith, soul
Transcript
Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.
Friday September 16,
2016
Aland From Quality Assurance
Tags quality assurance, reinforcement, positivity
Transcript
Alan: Hi, I'm Alan, from the Quality Assurance department. Don't be worried about quality. I assure you we have plenty of it. Dilbert: That's all you do? Alan: Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job.
Saturday September 17,
2016
Telling People How To Do Their Jobs
Tags job, quality assurance, misunderstanding, micromanage, business
Transcript
Alan, From Quality Assurance. Boss: Is it true that the only thing you have been doing is assuring people we have quality? Alan: I don't like to tel people how to do their jobs. Boss: Telling people how to do their jobs is literally your job. Alan: In that case, stop doing all of this.


