Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 84

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Arms Out

View 831 - 840 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thirty million dollars, nigerina, banker, bank information, email, ten percent commission, tube sock, fell behind dryer, ratbert, typing, computer, answering scam, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert approaches Dogbrt holding a letter. Ratbert says, "A Nigerian banker needs my help getting thirty million dollars out of his country!" Ratbert continues, "All I need to do is give him my bank information by e-mail and I'll get a ten percent commission." Ratbert is seen typing: "Dear Gustava, my bank is a tube sock that fell behind the dryer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle, sucking life force, happening faster, life suck 3000, machine, evil catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is standing in front of the boss's desk. Dilbert says, "My cubicle is sucking the life force out of me." Dilbert continues, "I mean, it always has, but it seems like it's happening faster now." The boss approaches Catbert who is at the controls of a large machine called "LifeSuck 3000". The boss says, "They noticed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hardening, given more work, central nervous system, suddenly stiff, ripening asok, apathy cream, air hole

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Would you like to join me for a hardening?" Catbert asks, "What's that?" The Boss explains, "A hardening is when an employee is given more work than his central nervous system can handle." The Boss holds his arms out stiffly and says, "His whole body suddenly goes stiff." Catbert says, "I'm in." The Boss says, "I've been ripening Asok all month." Catbert says, "Purrr purrr." The Boss and Catbert look at Asok as he sits as his computer and thinks to himself, "So much work... no time." The Boss, handing Asok a piece of paper, says, "Asok, I have another assignment for you." Asok responds, "Gaaa!!!" Wally and Dilbert peer over Asok's cubicle. Wally says, "I heard a hardening. Get the Apathy Cream." A solid mask of Apathy Cream has been applied to Asok's face. Wally says, "He'll be okay when the apathy sinks in." Dilbert says, "We forgot the air hole."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agree who's fault, meeting, Men, so mature, trip victory lap, won meeting, your fault, delays, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally watches as Asok the Intern says to a male co-worker, "... And so you agree that the delays are your fault?" The co-worker says, "Yeh." The co-worker and Wally watch as, throwing his arms up in the air in jubilation, Asok exclaims, "I won the meeting!!" Asok's clothing and hair are askew and his eye is closed shut as he says, "Only a sore loser would trip someone on his victory lap." Wally says, "He is so-o-o immature."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags power utility company, director marketing, increase revenue, herbivore

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags calling in sick, honesty, monday, puked, puked up organs, questioned, suspicious, vomit, glah!, optional guts

View Transcript

Transcript

An under-the-weather Alice sits angrily as The Boss says, "I'm a bit suspicious about you calling in sick yesterday on a Monday, Alice." The Boss looks startled as Alice exclaims, "Glah!" and her internal organs fly out of her mouth. Alice says to Dilbert, "Luckily I had lots of optional guts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags master of delegation, footsteps, third thing, valuable time, vendor, two minute call, Funny, conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is hiding behind a doorway as Dilbert walks toward him. The Boss thinks, "The Master of Delegation hears the footsteps of his prey." Sticking his head out the door, The Boss says, "Hi." A startled Dilbert exclaims, "Gaaa!!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "Call this vendor and tell him I want the third thing he told me about." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Okay. That will save two minutes of your valuable time." Dilbert says, "When the vendor asks me dozens of questions should I just guess at the answers?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Or would you prefer to spend an hour giving me enough background so you can avoid a two-minute call?" Dilbert says, "You know what's funny? This conversation lasted a minute... And there are two of us." The Boss asks, "Are you done?" Dilbert says, "I think you wrote down your own phone number."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags achieve goal, analyze incoming email, automate, excellent plan, online tech, software, throw rocks, useful repsonse, wear ski masks, sarcas, supportiveness, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I have an idea!" The Boss continues, "We'll automate our online tech support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our software will analyze incoming e-mail and send responses based on key words!" Dilbert, his tie flying up, says to The Boss, "That's an excellent plan." The Boss responds, "I know." Dilbert says, "But what about the one percent of our customers who actually get a useful response?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe we could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their houses." Dilbert says, "Then we could achieve our goal of 100% customer dissatisfaction! Whoo hoo!" Dilbert throws his arms up in the air as The Boss watches him. Dilbert thinks to himself, "Maybe I should work someplace where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, small alice, kill people, looking at them, smiling, man dies, scary face

View Transcript

Transcript

A male co-worker says to Alice, "Smile, Alice. It won't hurt." As Alice glares at the co-worker, he grabs at his throat and cries, "Gaaak!!" At a table, eating lunch with Wally and Dilbert, Alice says, "I found out I can kill people by looking at them." Dilbert says, "I wondered why you were smiling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags all night flight, came to work, usual, jeopardize, missing work, park in lobby, out of it, disheveled

View Transcript

Transcript

A frazzled-looking Alice says to The Boss, "My flight took all night but I still came to work on time as usual." Alice continues, "I didn't want to jeopardize the company by missing work." A male co-worker says to Alice, "You're not allowed to park in the lobby." Alice yells, "Since when?!"