Mr. Boss Comic Strips - Page 84

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Mr. Boss

View 831 - 840 results for mr. boss comic strips. Discover the best "Mr. Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Blamecatcher

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blamecatcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #scapegoat, #failure, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."

Pat Yourself On The Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pat Yourself On The Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reward, #prizes, #reimbursement, #expense report

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses, #motivation, #projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.

Product Warning Is Too Long

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Product Warning Is Too Long - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.

Gain Weight Using Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gain Weight Using Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #warning, #caution, #labeleing, #weight, #safety, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Did I leave out any risks on the product warning page? Boss: I don't see anything about the risk of overeating while owning the product. Tina: Our product has nothing to do with eating. Boss: Then why did I gain weight when I used it?

Product Warning Is Coming Along

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Product Warning Is Coming Along - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user guide, #safety, #directions, #overthinking, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, have you finished writing the product safety warning? Tina: I'm on page 357 with no end in sight. Boss: Okay, keep up the good work. I probably should have done a little micromanaging there.

Tina Writes Product Warnings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Writes Product Warnings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user guide, #caution, #directions, #safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, I need you to write the product warning section for the user guide. Make sure you cover every possible danger. Tina: "Never use this product while standing below a poorly maintained helicopter full of porcupines."

Estimate Of Timeline

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Estimate Of Timeline - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!

Ideal Customer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.