Transfer Mode Technology Comic Strips - Page 84
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Dilbert sits at his desk staring at the video phone. Dogbert asks, "Did anybody call on your new video phone yet?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think that the only people who will buy video phones are male techie dweebs like you?" Dogbert continues, "Therefore, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy a mirror?" Dilbert thinks, "It's hell being an early adopter."
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I got tiny 'PCS' phones for both of us." Dilbert continues, "It's the newest technology! I'll be able to call you at any time, no matter where we are!" The phone sits on the pillow next to Dogbert. As it rings, Dogbert thinks, "Why must all progress start out as something annoying?"
Dogbert stands on the edge of a cliff and yells, "I am Dogbert, the supreme ruler of earth!!" Dogbert yells, "Worship me, you ignorant masses!!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "That was practice." Ratbert replies, "Darn, now my eyes are stuck in zombie mode . . ."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This is my new optical disk player for the computer." Dilbert plugs the disk player into his computer and continues, "Now I can instantly access the works of Shakespeare or study the history of Greece!" Dogbert asks, "How often do you need to do that?" Dilbert asks, "You just don't understand technology, do you?" Dogbert answers, "I'm just a dog."
Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We can no longer compete against the Japanese with their technology advantages." The Boss continues, "So we're sending you to Japan on an employee exchange program." Dilbert asks, "To learn their technology and bring it back here?" The Boss replies, "Just do for them what you've done for us."
Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."
Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk holding a gadget. The man asks, "So, Dilbert, this is the prototype you've been working on for the last six months?" Dilbert replies, "Yes, sir. I'm proud to say that this baby can transform worthless pocket lint into a valuable parsley substitute!" The man says, "Well, this looks absolutely brilliant and completely unmarketable." Dilbert says, "Thanks, I'm technology driven."
Dilbert sits at his desk with drafting tools in front of him. Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This design could change the way the world barbecues. No more struggling with charcoal." Dilbert shows the paper to Dogbert and says, "This schematic shows how an electrically induced coil-like medium can heat food without charcoal or lighter fluid!" Dilbert continues, "I call it the Max-10 Energy Transfer Model." Dogbert asks, "Did the name 'Electric Stove' occur to you at any time?"
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert says, "There . . . My program proves that pretty women have extremely bad personalities." Dilbert continues, "This is based on the input that pretty women are never nice to me." Dogbert asks, "Why does the screen say 'or you are a geek?'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! I thought I fixed that bug."
Dilbert shouts, "Dogbert! Dogbert! Come here quickly!!" Dilbert says, "My computer simulation has discovered the chemical that causes LOVE!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert explains, "Apparently, it deactivates the parts of the brain responsible for critical thought and eating." Dogbert says, "Wow! You can inject people with that chemical and make them fall in love!" Dilbert says, "I was thinking more along the lines of a cure . . ." Dogbert replies, "Oh, like marriage."