Garbage Man Comic Strips - Page 84
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1000 Results for Garbage Man
View 831 - 840 results for garbage man comic strips. Discover the best "Garbage Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 28,
2003
Tags funding, continuous harping, expensive consultant, analyze budget, chaos, complexity, simulations
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "In response to your continuous harping about not having enough funding.." The Boss is joined by another man. The Boss continues, "I hired an expensive consultant to analyze your budget." The consultant says to Dilbert, "I'll have to run some chaos and complexity simulations, but it looks as if you need more money."
Wednesday February 05,
2003
Tags health benefits, itch, mood altering, stinking weasel, skin rash, drugs
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I'm taking a mood-altering prescription drug to treat a skin rash." Dilbert continues, "I still itch, but I don't care. In fact, I don't even think you're a huge, stinkin' weasel." Dilbert points to The Boss with both hands and exclaims, "I love you! You da man!" The Boss replies, "Remind me to cancel your health benefits."
Thursday March 06,
2003
Tags loser magazine, featuring you, cover photo, breakroom, napping, show offs
Transcript
Carol enters Wally's cubicle and says, "A man from 'Loser Magazine' wants to see you." Carol continues, "He said something about featuring you on the cover." Wally replies, "Send him over." Carol looks out and says, "I tried, but he keeps going into the break room and napping." Wally responds, "I hate show-offs."
Tuesday March 18,
2003
Tags marketing genius, rebate program, process, impenetrable fortress, unclear instructions, physical impossibilities, hidden 300 digit, serial number
Transcript
Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table reviewing bills. The man says, "Next time we have to find the hidden 300-digit serial number and write it in a box that's half an inch long." The woman replies, "Stinkin' weasels."
Thursday March 20,
2003
Tags cost cutting, job for a day, dream of grave, less motivating
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol with another man. The Boss says, "Our department won the cost-cutting contest, so our CEO will do your job for a day." The CEO sits in Carol's cubicle and says, "I feel like a failure.. darkness fills my days... I dream of the grave." The CEO cries, "I'll never be loved again!!" The Boss says, "This is less motivating than I'd hoped."
Monday March 24,
2003
Tags no budget, project, budget, begger, laughed guts up
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "There's no budget for your project; you need to tin-cup it." Dilbert asks, "What?" The Boss says, "Be like a beggar and ask each department to give you a bit of their budget." Dilbert is sitting next to a man whose organs are coming out of his mouth. Dilbert says, "Well, now that you've laughed your guts out, do you feel better?" The man replies, "Erk!"
Thursday April 24,
2003
Tags coffee rehadb, rip beard, death, state name, coffee addicting withdrawl, sleeping, mean, nasty, cutting, violent, falls asleep, medical
Transcript
Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."
Tuesday June 10,
2003
Tags wants a husbnd, cooks and cleans, raises kids, pursue career, total turn on, lemon wedges
Transcript
Alice says to Carol, "I want a husband who cooks and cleans and raises the kids while I pursue my career." Alice continues, "To me, that sort of man would be a total turn-on." A man wearing an apron approaches Alice and says, "Yoo-Hoo! Who likes lemon wedges?" A heart floats above Alice's head.
Wednesday June 11,
2003
Tags stay home husband, support career, chocolate, hot and cold, bobby, didn't hear
Transcript
Alice says to the man in the apron, "Bobby, I'm looking for a stay-at-home husband to support my career." Bobby responds, "I'm sorry - I was thinking about chocloate, and I didn't hear a word you just said." Bobby walks away and says, "Br-r-r-r, I'm cold. Now I'm hot. Now I'm cold!" Alice thinks, "This will take some work."
Saturday August 16,
2003
Tags process of getting approval, hard way, meeting, no direct answers, business
Transcript
The man who couldn't give direct answers. Alice: "Did you ask your boss for approval?" Man: "Now i will explain the process for getting approval." Alice: "Do you want to do this the hard way?" Man: "First, you ask for a meeting."


