Ignoring Certain People Comic Strips - Page 84

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"I want employees who are passionate!" "GIVE ME THIS JOB OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL CUT OFF MY EAR!" "And I'm a people person."

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My new strategy is to hire passionate people instead of smart ones. "I curse the air conditioning system that blows such a cold wind!" "I can already feel our stock price going up."

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Dogbert's Communication Seminar "There's really no point in listening to other people." "They're either going to be agreeing with you or saying stupid stuff." "That should cut down on the questions."

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"The new employee at work is hot, and she's getting special treatment. How can I get rid of her?" "Water finds its own level. She'll leave within a week." "They say that most people meet their future spouses at work." erk!

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"Alice, you did the work of three people this year and earned the highest raise in the department!" "3%" FOOM! "What made you all cumulo-nimbus?" "3%"

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"I want to debate with people on the Internet but I worry that I'm not smart enough." "Maybe I'll just read what the smart people are saying." "Okay, I'm in."

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"Wally, I can't work with the smell of popcorn in the air. It makes me insane!" "I use it to mask the odors coming from my body. Choose your poison." "Refueling the Hindenburg?" "Why are people so mean?"

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"I don't like to judge people by their looks, but I'm going to make an exception for you." "Something tells me that you and I will be butting heads." "I have a degree in marketing." "Why aren't your lips moving?"

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"We don't pay enough to attract qualified employees." "No problem. I'll hire unqualified people with good attitudes and train them." "Dilbert, when you get a second, train this guy." "Yay!"

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You have a bad case of chair buttocks. "You can still live a normal life." "Assuming it's normal for people to point and laugh at you."