Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 84

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags barry, meeting, meetings, sharing info, vendors, business

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Dilbert: Let's hear what Barry learned from our vendors and go from there. Coworker: I didn't have time to call anyone, but I can speculate about what might have happened if I had. Dilbert: I'm curious to see how this will work out for you. Coworker: None of these vendors would have called me back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviewed users, suggestions, idiots, dumb suggestions, hindsight

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Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job description, mindless zombie, team work, wate time, tasks, waste time, never shows intitaive

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Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags homeless persons, real estate, less fortunate

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to dedicate my life to the less fortunate." Dilbert replies, "That's very noble of you, Dogbert. Will you be working with the homeless, or perhaps the hungry?" Dogbert replies, "I thought I'd start with people who didn't buy real estate in the 70's . . . Maybe work my way up to that other stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags furniture, office workers, phone call

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Dogbert says into the telephone, "I'm sorry to bother you at work, Dilbert, but apparently the furniture has become possessed by mischievous spirits." The chair and the hassock have faces and clawed feet. Dogbert says to the chair and hassock, "He wants to know who you guys are." The chair responds, "Upholsterygeist."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, pun

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The caption says, "Dogbert demonstrates the art of puns. Step #1: 'The Set-up.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Tell me again about your uncle the famous biologist." Dilbert says, "Uncle Albert won many awards for his work in breeding sea anemonies. Sadly, he had little time for a social life." The caption says, "Step #2: 'The Delivery' (from outside of swatting range)." Dogbert stands in the doorway and says, "With anemonies like that, who needs friends?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hair, invention, shirt, pocket

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Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, eat, sarcasm

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The caption says, "How to be boring: 'Great Things I Have Eaten' series." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "But by far, the best baked potato I've ever eaten was six years ago . . ." The caption says, "The victim may try sarcasm to relieve the boredom." Dogbert says, "Fascinating, now could you think out loud all of the possible dates this may have occurred?" The caption says, "Sarcasm won't work." Dilbert says, "Well, it could have been on October 6th . . . Or maybe the 16th. Was that a Tuesday?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags care, people, think, head, shaped, torpedo, wright brothers

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "You shouldn't care so much about what other people think of your work." Dogbert continues, "I mean, everybody scoffed at the Wright Brothers. Galileo was jailed. Columbus was ridiculed." Dogbert continues, "'Course, none of those guys had a head shaped like a torpedo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, socks, computer, greek, tragedy, shoes, engineers

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types, "To his horror, Dilbert discovers that all of his white socks have holes. 'My goodness!' he cries, 'I shall be forced to wear black socks to work.'" Dogbert continues typing, "'If only my pants reached the tops of my shoes, then the other engineers might not notice,' Dilbert despaired." Dilbert asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "It's a 'geek' tragedy."