Life In One Package Comic Strips - Page 85

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Life In One Package

View 841 - 850 results for life in one package comic strips. Discover the best "Life In One Package" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #down in jet, #minor injuries, #saved by padding, #saved by prayer, #work great, #minor hair injuries, #100 nuns onboard, #nunnery, #not a lot of aerobics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice throws her arms out wide and says, "Work has been great since our Boss went down in the jet!" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." The Boss walks in, one side of his pointy hair bandaged. Alice and Dilbert are shocked. The Boss says, "I survived with only minor injuries. I was lucky to be on a flight that had a hundredd nuns onboard." Alice says, "You were saved by prayer?" The Boss replies, "No, padding. They don't do a lot of aerobics at the nunnery."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #dinosaurs, #spike things, #safety hazrd, #ate ficus tree, #being professional

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dawn, Bob and Rex, "There's not enough room for all of you dinosaurs. One of you must be downsized." Bob says, "If it helps, these spikey things are a safety hazard. And little Rex ate your ficus tree." Dogbert says, "Thanks for being professional about this, Bob." Bob holds up Little Rex and says, "When you put him in good light, how cute is he really?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #downsized, #fate, #vote by email, #jimmy carter, #monitor voting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: dinosaurs@unitedmedia.com A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #document marked proprietary, #find anyone, #gain experience, #logical questions, #insubordination

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern says to the Boss, "I have a question about this document marked 'proprietary'." Asok holds a piece of paper and says, "If I spent my whole life searching, do you think I could find anyone who would care about this?" Asok, Dilbert, and Alice are sitting at the lunch table in the cafeteria. Asok looks angry and has his arms folded across his chest. Dilbert explains, "As you gain experience, you'll realize that all logical questions are considered insubordination."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ads, #bad opinions, #capatalism, #cardboard tube, #free, #internet, #people, #something free, #greedy corporations, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert listens to an in-duh-vidual who says, "The Internet should be free. Why should I have to pay some greedy corporation or look at ads??!!" Dogbert says, "I will now use this cardboard tube to explain the intricacies of capitalism." The in-duh-vidual lies on the floor with stars floating around his head. Dogbert says, "Lesson One: This was something that should be free.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stupid people, #insulted, #formed mob, #take abuse, #survive, #water, #drink water, #portesters, #signs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window. Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. All of the stupid people you've insulted have formed a mob and surrounded our house." The in-duh-viduals hold signs that say, "Down with Dogbert." One says to another, "We don't have to take this abuse.. let's see how long he can survivce without water!" Dilbert says, "They're taking turns putting our hose in their mouths. I think they're trying to drink all of our water."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mob, #stupid people, #attack dogbert, #drink hose water, #isn't working, #grass, #attack, #ruin our lawn, #spraying water, #hose fight

View Transcript

Transcript

CAption: A mob of stupid people attack Dogbert's house. One in-duh-vidual says, "Our plan to drink all of his hose water isn't working." Another in-duh-vidual has a garden hose in his mouth and looks as if he is about to burst. The first in-duh-vidual says, "Hey, careful! You're getting water all over the grass..." Another person says, "Wait, that gives me an idea!" Dilbert reads the newspaper. "How's the attack going?" Dogbert replies, "They tried to ruin our lawn by spraying water on it. But now it's turned into a hose fight."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommunters, #eat anytime, #wild animals, #tranquilizer darts, #flatbed, #giant shoehorn

View Transcript

Transcript

A fat Alice looks in the refrigerator and thinks, "Telecommuters can eat any time they want, just like wild animals." Alice lies on the couch and thinks, "There's only one way they'll ever get me back in the cubicle." The Boss looks at a chart and says, "Here's the plan. You'll need tranquilizer darts, a flatbed truck, and giant shoehorn." Asok says, "No harpoon?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligent investor, #lifes saving, #name and address, #steer clear, #track record, #dogbert mutaul fund

View Transcript

Transcript

Bill the Dinosaur says to Dogbert, "I don't understand why any intelligent investor would put money in a fund that has no track record." Dogbert says, "I try to steer clear of intelligent investors." A man comes up and hands Dogbert a bag of money. "Here's my life savings, " he says. The man says, "Do you want my name and address?" Dogbert holds the money and says, "No. I trust you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cobol programmer, #millenium problem, #dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We need COBOL programmers for our mainframe millenium problem." The Boss says, "If you see anyone that looks like a COBOL programmer, let me know." Dilbert says, "Turn around." Bob the dinosaur is walking around the corner. The Boss says to Bob, "Are you a COBOL programmer?" Bob says, "No, but I'm often told I look like one." The Boss says, "You're hired."