Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 85

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert

View 841 - 850 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags show one house, lying real estate agent, loser

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent dogcart: if you don't buy the house I showed you someone else will. and every time it appreciates another million dollars you will cry out, "why was I so stupid?! why?! Why?!" And I'll be all, "Loser! LO-O-O - sir!" are you really not allowed to show me more than one house?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags real estate agent, 10 million, first property, covered with frogs, banshee farm, access road, boiling cesspool

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags real estate agent, documents, overarched homes, scarecrow manuafactirer, run over

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent DOgbert: Initial every page of this steaming mound of documents. Dilbert: This says that if I insist on overpricing my house then my agent can run over me with an SUV and... sell my clothes to a scarecrow manufacturer. Dogbert: its rarely enforced.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags backs up, fake news, lake view, potential fire place, rains, real estate charlatan, seasonal skylight, sweras, turning bad into good, well written

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags real estate, sell house, agent, doesn't know maybe, moving fast, control process, escrow closes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags extreme makeover, buisness, Dogbert, rework a face, plastic surgery, scary, human makeover, ears, antlers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I'm going into the extreme makeover business." "I'm planning to take it to the next level." "You'd look good with antlers." "And the nose has to go." Man: "Go?" "Your tiny ears are out of proportion." "These are ears." "I'll also rearrange your fat so you can't see it." "I'll toss in a few extras after you're unconscious, no charge." "Guess how old I am."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tainted research, media, clebrities, blood, environmental issues, humor, larry david, hybrid car, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert:"We need to get you on TV to publicize the tainted research I did." "The media likes celebrities, blood, environmental issues and humor." "Someone pushed a pointy-haired man in front of Larry David's car today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags poorly designed product, ever been killed, tainted research

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tainted research, skinny people, bright light, association of donught makers, wheel chair, man in bandages

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm starting a company that specializes in doing tainted research." "The Association of Doughnut Makers asked me to prove that skinny people can't go to heaven." "Did you see a bright light before the doctors revived you?" "No, why?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no frills airline, $23 run to destinations, crazy stuff, saliva

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I plan to start my own no-frill airline." "For only $23, I'll let people hold out their arms and run to their destinations." "And they won't be allowed to eat or swallow their own saliva."