Big Business Comic Strips - Page 85
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1000 Results for Big Business
View 841 - 850 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 27,
2007
Tags employees, asbestos, ceiling, wasn't dangerous, hazmat suit, not fair, judge, clothes, business, legal
Transcript
The Boss: The employees are getting all whiney about the asbestos in the ceiling." "I told them it wasn't dangerous, but apparently I'm not credible in this HazMat suit." "I don't think it's fair that they judge me by my clothes."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday March 08,
2007
Monday March 12,
2007
Wednesday March 14,
2007
Tags Advice, finances, money, obliviousness
Transcript
Financial Advisor Man: You've made a lot of money as a demotivational speaker. I recommend allocating 2% of it to me, and 98% to things that sound good if you don't look into them too closely. How about a managed stock fund with high churn and a big front-end load? Wally: Sounds good.
Saturday March 31,
2007
Wednesday August 15,
2012
Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, google, 100 million, engineers, jump ship, ceo, buy out
Transcript
CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.
Saturday August 25,
2012
Tags business ethics, fake 50%, dumb customers, smart shoppers, $400 per hour, freaking genius
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Your fake 50% sale prices make dumb customers feel like smart shoppers. CEO: Why am I paying you $400 an hour to tell me what I already know? Dogbert: Usually I charge $800 and hour. CEO: Yes! I'm a freakin' genius.
Wednesday August 29,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, prosperity, intuition, market research, success rate, binary choices, tiny manager, made of copper, business
Transcript
Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!
Thursday August 30,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, low priority tasks, rational being, reward, business
Transcript
Boss: You keep spending time on low-priority tasks. Dilbert: That's because I'm a rational being. I only work on tasks that are likely to give me some sort of reward. Boss: I don't know how to deal with that. Dilbert: Have you tried managing?
Saturday September 01,
2012
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, bad job, new assignment, poor job, matching skills, business
Transcript
Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?

