Call Big Cutsomers Comic Strips - Page 85

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855 Results for Call Big Cutsomers

View 841 - 850 results for call big cutsomers comic strips. Discover the best "Call Big Cutsomers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Closing Credits

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Closing Credits  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, closing credits, finish, zoom, laptop, goodbye, people, leave, sarcasm

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dilbert on video conference call: okay, well, i see the closing credits scrolling by, so we must be done with our zoom call. voices from laptop: oh, i guess so. well, goodbye everyone. bye! dilbert: goodbye! dogbert: you added closing credits to a zoom call? dilbert: it's the only way to get people to leave.

Online Therapy

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Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychiatry, technology, online, therapy, video therapy, social, isolation, awkward, bored, people, hate, pretend, hand washing, carrier, deadly, pathogen, normal

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dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

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Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense

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dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Cameras Can See You

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Cameras Can See You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, technology, hackers, camera, digital device, skills, detection, performance, review, minutes, laptop, coffee

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boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.

Wally Not Remotely Working

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Wally Not Remotely Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, success, technology, projects, remote work, work, remote, bed, office, laptop, home

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boss and wally on video call. boss: wally, have you been successful on your projects while working at home? wally: not remotely. boss: and by that you mean you went into the office and did not work remotely? wally in bed: okay, sure.

Zoom Team Building

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Zoom Team Building - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, team, building, session, zoom, drink, heavy, home, absurd, gift, purchase, laptop, video call

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boss: on friday we'll be having a team building session on zoom. you are welcome to drink heavily because you will already be home. dilbert: i don't know how that could be more absurd. boss: and buy a gift for yourself.

Office Nickname

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Office Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, cell phone, nickname, office, insulting, approval, bad, start, permission

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dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.

Zooming Right

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Zooming Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, video call, adjustments, camera, nose, lighting, lightbulb, beard, audio, idea, rude, laptop

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alice: can you adjust your camera so i'm not looking up your nose? okay, now can you adjust your lighting so you don't look like a lightbulb with a beard? voice from laptop: how's my audio? alice: it's as good as your ideas.

Wally Works At Home Unsafely

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Wally Works At Home Unsafely - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, warning, unsafe, workplace, work at home, remote, live, judging, personality, toxic, dump, lazy, clean, lucky, guess, neighbors, curtains, laptop

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wally on video call with catbert: catbert: i'm issuing you a warning for your unsafe workplace. wally: i work from home. you've never seen where i live. catbert: i'm judging by your personality. you're too lazy to clean anything up, so by now it's a toxic dump. wally: that's a lucky guess. catbert: and you're too lazy to close your curtains, so by now your neighbors want to murder you. wally: that's two lucky guesses.

Must Register To Date

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Must Register To Date - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, love & dating, managers & supervisors, company policy, human resources, new, dating, register, link, details, laptop

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boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.