Hired Back Comic Strips - Page 85

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

924 Results for Hired Back

View 841 - 850 results for hired back comic strips. Discover the best "Hired Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Needs A New Chair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Needs A New Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, chair, complaining, criticism, irritation, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need a more ergonomic office chair. Boss: Let me check the budget. Hmm...nope. We don't have a budget for making whiny employees happy. Dilbert: My current chair hurts my back. Boss: It's no picnic for the chair either.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, employees, company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

The Candy Honor System

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Candy Honor System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags candy, irritation, office workers, steal, stealing food, office, trust

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.

No Raise For Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Raise For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, work, salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?

Ai Keeps Owning The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ai Keeps Owning The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, debates, irritation, office workers, robot, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I keep getting into debates with the A.I. you built, and it refuses to admit I'm right. It keeps sending me links to articles on the wrong topic and claiming it "owned me". Dilbert: Please don't ask me to take sides. Boss: I need you to back me on this.

Hiring A Millennial

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, office workers, sarcasm, smartphone, generation, millennial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, complaining, eating, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.

Links To Articles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Links To Articles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, internet, Opinion, research

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the internet debate coach Dogbert: Always back up your opinion with links to articles. Asok: What if the only links I can find are from non-credible sources? Dogbert: I'll do some research. But I think that's the only kind there is.

Headphone Claims

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Headphone Claims - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags headphones, false, advertising, help, scientist, boss, Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're getting sued for claiming out headphones cure brain tumor and raise your IQ. Boss: We'll need to hire a scientist to back us on this. Dilbert: Where will we find a scientist willing to do that? Boss: Well, I wouldn't start with the rich ones.

Hiring Unethical Scientist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags suspicious, boss, lawyer, help, search, straightforward, scientist, bidding, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.