Job Comic Strips - Page 85
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936 Results for Job
View 841 - 850 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 29,
2017
Tags cell phone, conversation, meeting, business, technology
Transcript
Why isn't anyone else here yet? Did you tell them you changed the meeting time? I asked you to tell everyone. That isn't my job. Then why didn't you tell me you weren't going to do it?!! It isn't my job to tell you what isn't my job. Now this meeting is a waste of my time. Does your job description tell you to attend meetings that are worthless? I didn't know there were other kinds.
Tuesday January 24,
2017
Trust The Boss
Tags trust, confidence, vampire, dead, trustworthy
Transcript
Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.
Wednesday February 08,
2017
Keeping The Boss Away
Tags managers, interference, huddle, scrum
Transcript
Boss: What time is the team huddle? Dilbert: I can't tell you. As the team scrum, it is my job to keep you from interfering. Boss: Then I guess we're both doing what we're supposed to do. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.
Thursday February 09,
2017
Faking Their Own Deaths
Tags managers, distraction, subversion, alias, espionage, hiding, productivity
Transcript
Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!
Friday February 10,
2017
Remove Yourself
Tags distraction, irony, productivity
Transcript
Dilbert: As the designated agile scrum, it is my job to remove distractions so you can work. Alice: Great. Remove yourself from my cubicle and you've done your job. Dilbert: That seems too easy. Alice: And yet you can't do it.
Saturday February 18,
2017
Groomed For Management
Tags back-stabbing, management, betrayal, double cross
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss is trying to groom me for management. How can I get out of it? Wally: Tell him that as soon as you are sufficiently groomed you will stab him in the back and take his job. Dilbert: ...and then I'll take your job. Boss: I'm moving you to the advanced management class.
Tuesday February 21,
2017
Add Feature To Legacy System
Tags legacy, development, change, obstinacy, engineers, stalemate
Transcript
Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.
Monday February 27,
2017
Wally's Political Views
Tags disagreement, Politics, Opinion, differences, arguing
Transcript
Tina: I can't work with Wally. His political views are abhorrent. Boss: That has nothing to do with your job. Tina: He makes me too sad and angry to work! Boss: Would you be happy if I punished him for having an opinion? Tina: Would I be a bad person if I said I would?
Tuesday February 28,
2017
Wally's Political Views Make Others Uncomfortable
Tags comparison, gandhi, Politics, offense, offensive, sensitive, politically correct, political correctness
Transcript
Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?
Saturday March 25,
2017
Wally's Coffee Drone
Tags managers, management, ideas, invention, coffee
Transcript
Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.


