Just Listen Comic Strips - Page 85

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gerbil, #marketing team, #cables, #engineering support

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Ted: I moved the meeting to Tuesday. Dilbert: "I can't make it on Tuesday." " Ted: Somehow I think the marketing team can survive one meeting without engineering support." Marketing team: "We'll include a pet gerbil in every box. We'll just need to make sure it's in a sealed plastic bag so it won't chew on the cables."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor dogbert show, #immoral moron, #lazy, #miracle worker, #passing judgement, #selfish, #time waster

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Doctor Dogbert Show "Your problem is that you're a lazy, selfish, immoral moron." "Shouldn't you listen to my story before passing judgement?" "I'm adding 'time waster' to the list." "You're like a miracle worker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dr. dogbert show, #plastic surgery addicts, #dinosaur, #shut up freak

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doctor dogcart show dogbert: My next guest cis addicted yo plastic surgery. Ive always liked the whole dinosaur look, so I just went for it. do you have some plainspoken advice for me Shut up , freak

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moving, #movers, #boxes, #hire movers, #feeling weak, #walk by myslef, #little legs, #unmanly

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Dilbert: It feels unmanly to hire movers. I should be able to do this with a few friends and a pick up truck. Dogbert: The movers just pulled up. Dilbert: I don't like being weak. I can walk by myself! mover: On this little legs?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approval for expenses, #sounds suspious, #heart transplant, #note from surgeon, #illiterate surgeon, #non credible guy

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The non-credible guy "Did you get approval for these expenses?" "What? Oh, yes, I did." "Why does everything you say sound suspicious?" "Because I just had a heart transplant." "I'd like to see a note from your surgeon." "He's illiterate."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #unpleasant work enviornment, #applicants, #miss old days, #dental plan

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The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock plunged, #acquire compnay, #few shares, #sit in cubicle

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Dogbert: Your stock just plunged on the news that you're going to acquire another company. Have you noticed that your stock goes down whenever you do anything? I'll buy a few shares if you'll agree to sit motionlessly in your cubicle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad year, #committed, #compensation packages, #management, #stay course, #visons

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The boss: "We've had a bad year but management is commited to staying the course." Dilbert: "Question: did you just say our leaders are receiving huge compensation packages to keep doing what doesn't work?" The Boss: "No. The way I said it, they're visionaries." Dilbert: "So ... they keep doing what doesn't work ... and they see visions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mullet head, #nickname, #everyine call, #behind back, #secret nick name, #long in back

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carol: "Hey, mullet-head, this is for you." "What did you call me?" "Oops. I used the secret nickname that everyone in the office has for you." "My work here is done." "It's just a little long in the back!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad connection, #billing codes, #throw desk, #off builing, #miscommunication, #car, #cell phone, #technology

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The Boss: "We have a bad connection, so listen carefully." "Throw ... my ... desk ... off ... building..." "Okay." "I hope that sounded like 'go through my desk and office and find the billing codes'."