Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 85

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991 Results for Nose Job

View 841 - 850 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Anchor Price For Negotiations

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Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags haggling, negotiating, negotiation, research, value, worth, anchor price, science

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Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

Ceo Inflates His Own Head

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Ceo Inflates His Own Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, ceos, competition, executives, height, money, salary, wages

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Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, form, function, product design, product designer, selfishness, portfolio

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.

Strategy To Get What You Deserve

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Strategy To Get What You Deserve - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, recognition, strategy, business, competition

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

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In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, work ethic, existentialism, suffering, death, philosophy, pessimism, Advice, medical

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Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

Ten Things We Look For In Employees

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Ten Things We Look For In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, qualifications, interview, job interview, outsmart

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Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meditate, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, mbct, stress, trick, laziness, deception, work ethic, ruse, nap, napping

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Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Attendance Strategy

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Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, attendance, Advice, mentor, mentoring

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Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

Removing Obstacles

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Removing Obstacles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hinder, hinderance, obstacle, obstacles, management, managers, insult, zinger, zing

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Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.

Solving Problems In Interviews

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Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interview, trick, thinking, problem

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Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.