Broke Into System Comic Strips - Page 86
1000 Results for Broke Into System
View 851 - 860 results for broke into system comic strips. Discover the best "Broke Into System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.
Dilbert: I invented a filter that can turn raw sewage into pure drinking water in seconds. CEO: Glug glug glug. Dilbert: The clean water ends up here in the upper container.
Boss: I send your question up the chain of command. I talked to the district manager who talked to his AVP who talked to his VP who talked to his SVP who talked to the CEO. The answer is that we need to shine the braille toad. Dilbert: Do you see any problem with our system?
CEO: We're going into the smartphone business. Smartphones are basically gadgets, and we already make gadgets, so how hard could it be? Dilbert: If you strangle me now, I promise I won't resist. Boss: That sounds lazy.
Boss: Our millennial employees keep quitting because of our bureaucracy and poor communication. CEO: Form three task forces to look into it. But don't tell any of the task forces that there are two others doing the same thing. Boss: Should I give you regular updates? CEO: Nah.
Our model XR35 is the only one that will work in your situation. The other models would be nightmares. Dilbert: Okay, we'll take the XR35. Ted: Opps it appears we are out of stock. Dilbert: This is the part where your credibility comes into question. Ted: Have you looked at ethics's XP9? I think it would be perfect.
Boss: The company will no longer offer free beer on Fridays. It started as a team-building experience, but it degenerated into forklift jousting in the warehouse. Wally: I'm going all "Boardwalk Empire" on you now, Volstead! Boss: I hope that means something good.
Boss: What's this? Dilbert: It's corporate yoga. I'm using victory and power poses to trick my brain into releasing testosterone to make me more of a leader. Alice: I don't know what this is, but I want in.
Dilbert: I found a backdoor into NASA's asteroid tracking satellite. I see that a big one is heading directly toward... Gaaaa!!! Dogbert: What? What? Dilbert: I must fill my final days with love. Dogbert: You ruined my ears, jerk!