Good Bye Lunch Comic Strips - Page 86

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diet, #eating disorder, #first 20 pounds, #diet with buddy, #lose weight, #weight issues, #health

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The Boss: My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? Tina: Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder! The Boss: They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest. Tina: NOT HELPING!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stretch goals, #goals for year, #set higher

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Asok: I wrote out my goals for the coming year. I set them higher than I can achieve because our boss said it's good to have stretch goals. Alice: Well, more for us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #finances, #money, #obliviousness

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Financial Advisor Man: You've made a lot of money as a demotivational speaker. I recommend allocating 2% of it to me, and 98% to things that sound good if you don't look into them too closely. How about a managed stock fund with high churn and a big front-end load? Wally: Sounds good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Just because my head is an ashtray, that doesn't mean I can't be a good manager." "Ask me any question and I will show you my managerial talent." "The answer is six bags of potatoes!" "May I ask the question first?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"There's more to being a manager than just having an ashtray for a head." "There is?" "Yes, and I am doing a lot of research to find out what those other things are." Later, at the library "This is good stuff." Cat Fancy

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"According to my Soul-o-Meter, you still have 1% of your soul." "I'll give you a doughnut for it." "Sold." "It's funny how quickly a good day can become a great day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #tailored style, #each employee, #pool cue, #leadership is guessing, #business

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Boss: A good manager tailors his leadership style to fit each employee. In your case, I think the best approach involves poling you with a sharpened pool cue. To be perfectly honest, a big part of leadership is guessing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #apathy, #computer programmers, #preventer of information, #business case, #teamwork seminar, #goldfish crackers

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Mordac: I, Mordac, the preventer of information services, reject your business case because you used the old template. Ha ha ha! I feed on your anger and frustration! And now I will eat like a king! Dilbert: Good luck with that. I've been dead on the inside since the teamwork seminar. Mordac: Sheesh. I'm living on goldfish crackers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #budget, #work monitoring software, #calendar, #year 2040, #square boxes, #business

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Boss: I don't have a budget for the network monitoring software you need, so you'll have to write it yourself. Dilbert: Good plan. I'll check back with you when I'm done doing that. What's your calendar look like in the year 2040? Boss: Sort of a grid with square boxes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #leadership, #agenda, #business

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Boss: I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to manage you. It must have been a nightmare for all of you to be without my leadership for so long. Alice: This might be a good tome to lead us to the next topic on the agenda.