Internet Project Comic Strips - Page 86

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883 Results for Internet Project

View 851 - 860 results for internet project comic strips. Discover the best "Internet Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Changing The Website

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Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, sarcasm

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Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

No Internet

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No Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaining, engineering, office workers, technology

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Boss: The network will be down all day, but try to do what you can without it. Dilbert: What can we do without it besides drink coffee, complain, and whittle? Boss: No knives at work. Dilbert: Hold off on the whittling.

Ai Can Control Minds

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Ai Can Control Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags control, intelligence, office workers, robot, technology, humans

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Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, video games

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Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

Working With Old Ned

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Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elderly, men and women, office workers, old

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Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?

Twizzle The Flurm

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Twizzle The Flurm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confused, employees, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Health Problems

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Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags age, complaining, health, office, office workers

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Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Helping Ted

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Helping Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineering, frustration, help, office, office workers

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Boss: I need you to help Ted on his project. He seems to be struggling. Dilbert: That would doom two projects - mine would suffer from neglect, and Ted would re-bungle anything I fix. Boss: Maybe Ted can help you on your project. Dilbert: Gaaaaa!!!

Humans And Parakeets

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Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, carol, research, humans, parakeets, offspring, blog, deny

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Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?