Take The Job Comic Strips - Page 86

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Take The Job

View 851 - 860 results for take the job comic strips. Discover the best "Take The Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last kid picked, #team sports, #school, #two people, #super power, #breakroom, #coffee break, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says to Asok, "In school, I was always the last kid picked to be on a team." Alice enters and says, "I need two people right now. I'll take Asok and.. I'll keep looking." Asok asks Wally, "So it's like a super power?" Wally replies, "Pretty much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #yemp, #fear of commitment, #one foot out door, #swiped

View Transcript

Transcript

The temp is standing with one leg up in the air. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a temp with a fear of commitment. I keep one foot out the door." Dilbert hands the temp a piece of paper and says, "Whatever. Just take care of this for me. It'll take ten minutes." The temp zips away faster than his clothes can move.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project summaries, #summarize summary, #doomed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Asok some papers and says, "Asok, take these project summaries and summarize them into one summary." The Boss continues, "And when you're done, take that summary and summarize it." Asok approaches Dilbert and asks, "What is a shorter word for doomed?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investigative reporter, #garbage dumps, #wasteful car, #tires, #park, #boss, #wasteful

View Transcript

Transcript

Investigative Reporter. A reporter and cameraman follow The Boss out of the building. The reporter says, "Explain why your company dumps garbage in the park." The Boss climbs into his giant car. The reporter continues, "And why do you drive such a huge, wasteful vehicle?" The Boss approaches Asok and says, "I need you to scrape something off my tires and take it to the park."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new tech lab, #pick contractor, #lowest bid, #force problems, #chance to gnaw wood, #beaver interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm putting you in charge of building our new technology lab." The Boss continues, "Pick the contractor with the lowest bid. I don't see any problems with that strategy." Dilbert is meeting with a beaver. Dilbert says, "So, your bid says you'll do the job for... 'A chance to gnaw on wood.'" The beaver responds, "Too high?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil hr director, #hire, #job interview, #urine sample, #social secuirty, #past emplyers, #past lovers, #despicable

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert says to an interviewee, "I need to check a few things before we hire you." Catbert continues, "Give me blood, hair and urine samples, fingerprints, social- security number, past employers, and past lovers." The Boss and Catbert are meeting. The Boss is looking over the interviewee's records. The Boss asks, "Before we started doing all of this checking, did you know that everyone in the world was despicable?" Catbert replies, "Yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #toxic tom, #new coworker, #potatoe, #too many questions

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a new employee to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new co- worker, Toxic Tom." The Boss continues, "He complained about his last job all through his interview. But he'll be happy here." Once The Boss is gone, Toxic Tom says to Dilbert, "He says he thinks you're stupid because you ask too many questions."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #secretary for a day, #deeply offended, #trivial, #train

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reads a memo, "The department that cuts costs the most will get our CEO as its secretary for a day." Carol says, "I'm deeply offended by the implication that my job is so trivial that it can used as a prize." The Boss replies, "Maybe you can train him to phone your kids and yell at them." Carol exclaims, "Not funny!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #headhunter, #stock up, #ceo, #random upturns, #make millions, #changing jobs, #legal, #victims

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk. He says into the phone, "This is Dogbert the Headhunter. I noticed that your company's stock is up today." Dogbert continues, "As CEO, you can take credit for random upturns and make millions by changing jobs." Dogbert continues, "Ha, ha! Yes, it's legal. In fact, if you write a book, your victims will buy it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walk into ambushes, #trap you, #helpful, #body double, #new body double

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is wearing a mask and pointy-haired hat. The Boss says, "Asok, as my new body double, your job is to walk into ambushes." The Boss continues, "If someone tries to trap you into being helpful, do what I would do." Asok asks, "What would you do?" The Boss replies, "I'd get a body double."