Company Directory Comic Strips - Page 86
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882 Results for Company Directory
View 851 - 860 results for company directory comic strips. Discover the best "Company Directory" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 15,
2020
Violating Rules
Tags managers & supervisors, rules, business, audit, employees, company
Transcript
boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.
Saturday February 08,
2020
Vendor Not Performing
Tags business, vendor, performance, replace, parent, company, subsidiaries, sub-contract
Transcript
dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?
Monday February 24,
2020
Work Harder Than Others
Tags motivation, business, employees, managers, work, success
Transcript
boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.
Saturday March 28,
2020
Ted Talks Creates A God
Tags business, technology, mental, midget, ted talks, binge-watching, god, dumb, all knowing
Transcript
new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.
Monday April 06,
2020
Extra Dogbert Clone
Tags business, marketing, genius, problem, company, situation, clone, blame
Transcript
the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.
Thursday April 09,
2020
Clones Embezzle
Tags business, lunch, sandwich, company, dissolve, self-discovery, consilting, staffing, clones, embezzle, journey
Transcript
dogbert in lunchroom with dilbert: i had to dissolve my consulting company because i made the mistake of staffing it with my clones. every one of them embezzled from me. that sort of ended my journey of self-discovery.
Saturday August 08,
2020
Any Questions
Tags business, company, conclusion, end, face masks, managers & supervisors, meeting, question, vision
Transcript
boss: okay, that's all for today unless anyone has a question. alice, boss & dilbert thinking: please let it end. please let it end. please let it end. co-worker: what's the company vision? unison: GAAA!!!
Sunday August 30,
2020
Not A Monopoly
Tags managers & supervisors, senior managment, ceo, government, monopoly, product, essential, modern, life, competition, company, compete, buy out, fail, face mask
Transcript
ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.
Monday August 31,
2020
No More Id Badges
Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, i.d. badge, employees, freedom, tattoo, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.
Tuesday October 06,
2020
Height Advantage
Tags company, employement, fired, height, hiring, managers & supervisors, pay cut, short, tall, video conferencing, zoom
Transcript
boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.