Feel Like Progress Comic Strips - Page 86
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Share February 26, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert is standing on a stool at a podium. He announces: "The Lifetime Gullibility Award goes to Bob Flabeau." He continues: "I would read Bob's biography but it's comprised entirely of false memories planted by his herbal therapist." Dogbert holds out the award as Bob Flabeau walks eagerly up to claim it. Dogbert says to him: "It looks like a stick but it's solid gold." Bob exclaims: "Wow!"
Share February 27, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert is carrying-out a presentation. He is standing in front of the attendees, next to a diagram. He says: "I'd like to start with a diagram." He points at the diagram and explains: "It's a bunch of shapes connected by lines." He continues: "Now I will say some impressive words." He says: "Synchronized Incremental Digital Integrated Dynamic E-Commerce Space." He asks: "Any questions?" One of the attendees raises his hand and asks: "May I have a copy of your presentation?" Dilbert stands alone, surrounded by white space and silence. He arrives home and tells Dogbert: "The results of my experiment are disturbing."
Share March 05, 2000's comic on:
Caption reads: "Catbert, evil H.R. Director." Catbert is sitting behind a desk in a throne-like chair. He tells Dilbert, who is sitting in a very small chair: "We've decided to give you a new personality." Dilbert is surprised: "What! Why?" Catbert explains: "You're current personality is non-standard." He continues: "You must choose one of the approved corporate personalities." Catbert presents the options: "The choices are sycophant, glad-hander, sadist, quantoid, prima donna, empty suit, or whining misfit." Dilbert says: "Empty suit sounds interesting." Catbert says: "Excellent choice. Here's the Spec Sheet." Wally asks Dilbert about the meeting: "How did it go?" Dilbert answers, reading from the Spec Sheet: "Same ol' Same ol'. You got that right!"
Share March 14, 2000's comic on:
A woman recalls over dinner with Dilbert: "...so my head swelled up like a beach ball and the I.R.S. wants to put me in jail." Dilbert responds: "In summary you're a basket case." Afterwards, he tells Dogbert: "Women hate it when you summarize."
Share March 21, 2000's comic on:
An older Dilbert with an oddly shaped head materializes in Dilberts cubicle. The future Dilbert says to Dilbert: "I am you from the future. Your time machine invention works." Dilbert asks: "How does my head get like that?" The future Dilbert points to a hole in a box that he wears at his chest and says: "Stick a finger in this hole."
Share April 08, 2000's comic on:
Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."
Share April 11, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert, Alice and Wally are sitting together eating lunch. Dilbert asks them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went skydiving?" Alice replies, "That sounds like a false memory planted by Dogbert." Dilbert throws one hand in the air in denial as he says "Blah!" Dilbert says, "My parachute didn't open. Luckily, I landed on a trampoline and bounced back into the plane."
Share April 20, 2000's comic on:
The sadist approaches Dilbert handing him a piece of paper and says, "You're invited to my four-hour meeting." As Dilbert reads the paper, the sadist says "There's no agenda. It's just supposed to hurt. Dilbert asks, "Any donuts?" The sadist replies, "Yes, but I'll drop one on the floor and hide it with the others. Dilbert then says, "I like those odds."
Share May 05, 2000's comic on:
Sitting together on the couch, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm starting to get an inferiority complex." Dogbert replies, "If it makes you feel better, that isn't a complex." Dogbert continues, "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta take a wicked wag."
Share May 07, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."