New Employee Comic Strips - Page 86
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1000 Results for New Employee
View 851 - 860 results for new employee comic strips. Discover the best "New Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 01,
2005
Tags flashy, hot flashes, suddenly hot, burning, cold, cubicle near thermostat
Transcript
"Everyone meet our new team member, Flashy." "GAAA!!! Suddenly so hot!!! Burning!!!" "Flashy will be in the cubicle by the thermostat." "C-c-c-cold!"
Friday November 04,
2005
Tags pet employee, all projects, cutting edge technology, hawaii
Transcript
"Don't worry that I might give all the good projects to my pet employee." "Petricia, I'd like you to evaluate cutting-edge technologies in Hawaii." "Now, who's left to wax my back?"
Thursday November 17,
2005
Tags gullible world, magazine, cover story, shed pounds, yell at children, eat your way, be a better parent
Transcript
My new magazine is called 'Gullible World'. "This month's cover story is 'Shed Pounds by Yelling at Your Children'." "Next month will be 'Eat Your Way to Being a Better Parent'."
Friday November 18,
2005
Tags buy advertsising, gullible world, 2 billion readers, three readers
Transcript
Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."
Sunday November 27,
2005
Tags buiness stragey, list, past years, no afraid of change, deserve bonus, generous, good looking, rhetorical question
Transcript
Our new business strategy is... "Hold on." "I made a list of all of our strategies for the past five years." "There have been seventeen of them." "What does that tell us?" "That I'm not afraid of change." "And that I've been working hard and I deserve a huge bonus." "And that I'm kind and generous and good looking." "You have to give him credit. The man knows how to answer a rhetorical question."
Tuesday December 06,
2005
Tags evil director, human rescources, disgruntled, bad management, commute, rationalizer, employee, commute is easy
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Ed, you seem disgruntled." "You need 30 minutes in the Employee Rationalizer." "I...I...don't mind bad management because...the commute is easy." "Better."
Wednesday December 07,
2005
Tags bed idea, new sourpuss, optimism, leadership 90 5 opitimism
Transcript
"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."
Thursday December 22,
2005
Tags cable, doesn't attach, create demand, young people dancing, budget cuts
Transcript
Our new product is a cable that doesn't attach to anything. "We hope to create demand via a series of commercials showing young people dancing." "And then we'll all go straight to hell." "He didn't take the last round of budget cuts well."
Wednesday December 28,
2005
Tags new guy, project staus report, random pharse, generatormmeail, listens, when he's talking
Transcript
"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."
Thursday December 29,
2005
Tags employee of the month, award, don't know my job, never listen, boss
Transcript
"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"


